My Repertoire

A couple of years ago I learned about musical repertoires in a sermon. The minister stated that a musician's repertoire is the group of songs the musician has played so frequently and mastered so beautifully, that he/she can play any of those themes at any given moment. The songs have been practiced and played time and time again until they flow from his/her fingertips as effortlessly and naturally as breathing in and out.

He then challenged us with the question, "What is the tune of your life?". My theme song was easy to recognize, but difficult to own. "Stress" and "Anxiety" are the songs that I play. As a Christian, I should be practicing the tunes of "Peace", "Patience", "Kindness", "Love", and "Joy" in hopes to play my piano as beautifully as my Teacher. For these melodies bring Him glory and spread His peace throughout the world.

Upon hearing this sermon, I was discouraged at the realization of my theme song; however, I had a glimmer of hope with the belief that the stresses of graduate school would be among the most difficult to endure in my life (and that it was only a two-year journey). I had high hopes for my life after graduation... hopes to have the time to enjoy the hobbies that bring me so much pleasure... hopes to have the time to invest in the relationships of people I truly value... hopes to have the time to devote to serving the elderly at a skilled nursing facility... hopes to have the time to teach children in Sunday School... hopes to have the time...

To borrow the quote from Anne of Green Gables, "my life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes". This may all sound dramatic, but it IS true that I have been tremendously disappointed at the reality of my current situation. I STILL consistently work 11-15 hour days. I sleep, eat, and work- that's it. I always have work to do on the weekends. I have been so stressed that I have migraines about every other day. Every single week is like the finals week of grad school. The tunes of "Stress" and "Anxiety" continue to repeat indefinitely. And I have yet to learn how to play "Peace" in the midst of chaos.

1st Six Weeks

The first six weeks has ended... and, boy howdy, has it been a crazy six weeks! From the very first time I stepped into my classroom, I discovered that I didn't learn half of what I needed to know to be a speech-language pathologist in graduate school (or in undergrad, for that matter). One would think that six years of higher education would not only prepare you for the first year, but would provide you with the knowledge base you need to be confident in your job performance. But, no. (Feeling completely incompetent and ignorant is, by no means, a reflection of my school. Rather, it is just verification that speech therapy is a difficult profession!)

Because of the incredibly steep learning curve, I have found myself putting in eleven to twelve hour days regularly... and then coming home with work to do. It's been an exhausting six weeks, and a humbling one. Alas, humility has been the reoccurring lesson these last few years... but one day God will bless me with the Kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 5:3).

I had anticipated having pleasant, quiet evenings to cook, sew, play my piano, crochet, scrapbook, read, and journal; however, there has been little time to enjoy my numerous hobbies. Kevin's birthday scarf remains half-done, my darling Valentine quilt continues to sit on my closet shelf, my lovely (and heavy) piano is still not tuned, my beautiful pots and pans have kept their new, sleek shine, and my arabesque is as graceful a football player's.

One interest, though, that has crept back into my life, is our family-favorite radio drama series of "Adventures in Odyssey". I'll listen to these moral lessons with the characters I grew up with as I get ready for bed, or get ready for school, or as a reward after a long day's work. In celebration of surviving the first six weeks of school, I tuned into "Adventures in Odyssey", relaxed on the sofa, and sobbed with my tender, stressed-out heart as Connie, a main character on the show, accepted Jesus into her heart.

Thank you, Focus on the Family, for writing and broadcasting this series, and other radio theaters, to "help families thrive". And thank you, Mom and Dad, for supporting their mission, for raising us with Godly morals and high standards, and for training your children (and continuing to raise children) to be the salt and light in this dark, tasteless, and decaying world.

To enjoy Focus on the Family's "Adventure's in Odyssey", click below.
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/popups/media_player.aspx?Tab=Shows&subcategory=AdventuresInOdyssey

The Latest News

Goodness! It has been quite a while since my last post! So, here are the news headlines in the Caryn Carroll Chronicle:

Passed all of my tests!!!
Graduated!!!!
Got a job!!!
Moved!

That's right, all of graduate school and tests for licensure and certification are passed and past! Whew! Here's a picture to prove it!
The summer break provided a couple of months to end my life-long career of "student" and begin a new life as a real "adult". The respite also supplied time to enjoy my wonderful family and friends, including a trip to Washington (state) and Fredericksburg!

A few weeks ago my loyal dad and brothers helped me load up my piano, yet again, and all of my junk to move into a garage apartment in Grand Prairie... for this is where I am employed as a "speech-language pathologist - clinical fellow" (SLP-CF) for the 2010-2011 school year!

The last two weeks I have endured intense training to prepare for this year, and today was the official beginning of the school year. Many many many children and parents and siblings roamed throughout the building in search of their classes... and I couldn't help but think, "I'm soooo glad I'm not a student!" A couple of hours later educators guided their classes throughout the building, and as I witnessed a boy slithering down the hall like a snake while the teacher attempted to instruct her 20ish elementary students to stand in a single-file line... I couldn't help but think, "I'm soooo glad I'm not a public school teacher!" Then, as I returned to my peaceful room to organize the students on my caseload into an excel spreadsheet and place sticky notes on their files, I just couldn't help but think, "I'm so glad I'm a speech-language pathologist!"

It's true, I'm very excited about this next year, and I'm so thankful to be where I am! These last few months I have seen and experienced the grace of God as He has provided for me in so many ways! He has provided me a safe living situation, a job, and enough money to make it until my first paycheck. He has also provided good Christian people to work with... my mentor, the other first year SLP, another SLP, my principal, and my neighbor across the hall! So often when I pray for the Lord's provision, I expect God to wait until the last minute.. as if He likes to see me stressed and in a tizzy ("tizzy is a funny word!"). And although our faith and trust in our God can grow as we wait for Him to provide, I am so thankful that He took care of me before I had time to stress too much! God really is good. And He really is the Great Provider.

Coffee = Productivity

I've been in college for six years... six years! But this is the very first semester that the wonderful side-effects of coffee have actually worked! I'll be tired of studying or my eye lids will droop and linger a little longer, so I decide to brew some coffee. With my favorite coffee cup in one hand and biscotti in my left (compliments of my cousin), my energy is renewed and interest in aphasia, dysarthria, dysphagia, articulation, phonology, language, and cognition is revived! Hoorah! As a result, I've read through the entire blue book and two COMPS notebooks! Bring on the tests!
(Me and a dear friend enjoying a cup of costa coffee in Oxford!)

Friday night "fun"

Friday night... home alone... everyone has fun plans and I turned down all invitations to have a one-on-one coffee date with my 760 page/33 pounds "advanced review of speech-language pathology" book. Honestly, I'm not too interested in my "date" tonight. This humongo book has far too much to say, and it's making my brain hurt. But, the White Chocolate Macadamia Nut creamer is very tasty!

In 6 days I will have a mid-term in the absolutely-most-difficult-class-of-my-life, in 7 days I will have my comprehensive exams (must pass this 4.5 hour written test to graduate), and in 8 days I will have my national licensure test (must pass to work as a speech-language pathologist). Then... in 9 days I will head back to Abilene to sleep, relax, sleep, and spend spring-break with my friends and family!!

Please add me to your prayer list. My stress level has gradually increased over the past two weeks, and this past week my right eyelid hasn't stopped twitching. My hypothesis is that the massive knots in my neck/shoulders are obstructing the blood supply for Cranial nerve III (which is one of the 5 nerves that I don't have to know because it has nothing to do with phonation or speech-language pathology). But, anyway, that's a far-fetched idea. My eyelid isn't really a prayer-request- just a comment.

Aunt-hood!

I absolutely LOVE being an aunt! Eleven months ago my dear sister had a baby girl in Indianapolis. About nine months ago, my sister, brother-in-law, and niece moved to Texas where I welcomed them with wide-open arms! Their move has allowed me to enjoy weekly visits with Ruby (as well as tea-time with her beautiful mother, and occasional gaming with her dad).

What I love about being an aunt:
-Having dozens of pictures of my niece saved on my phone so I'm always ready to show off my niece to friends at work and church.
-Having a picture of my perfect niece as my background image on my laptop so my friends can gawk and ooh-ahh at her in the middle of a lecture!
-Spending Friday nights as the babysitter and having prime-time with Ruby!
-Occasionally getting to tuck her in for her nap or for bed and having her snuggle her sweet head on my shoulder!
-Teaching her silly songs like "Pants on the Ground" and making her laugh so hard!
-Teaching her sweet songs like "A- You're Adorable" which make her smile so big!
-Showing her how to lindy-hop and waltz... and once again, making her laugh!
-Demonstrating how to roll over and witnessing her first success at this milestone.
-Feeding her sweet potatoes and making funny faces and noises like Elastigirl from "The Incredibles"
-Witnessing her first successful placement of her sweet baby hands to sign for "more".
-Being so familiar to her that she prefers me to other people in the room (except her parents, of course)
-Having a precious niece cry out and whimper when I leave her sight! Ah! I love it!
-Being absolutely ridiculous and uninhibited to encourage a laugh or smile!

What I like about Mom...

What I like about Mom is that she welcomes a challenge. I admire how she dove back into school to get her teacher's certificate... and how she stood up to the challenge of working at Kenley with children who are not the easiest to teach... and how she took the teaching job at a private classical school where the standards were very high... and how she plunged herself into a new life as a mother of lots and lots of dramatic daughters. And these events are just in the last 5 years... she has conquered many quests in her life, and I'm very proud of the life she lives! Thank you for taking up the challenge of raising 7 great kids- I'm so glad you have persevered!

Breaking the Silence...

I apologize for neglecting this poor blog by remaining silent for so long! So... I'll just briefly catch you up!

I'm now living in Denton with my aunt, uncle and cousins which has been such a blessing and joy! I've learned a lot about pop culture, reality tv shows, musicians, actors, classic films, fashion, and eggs! Also, this semester is my very last semester of graduate school... that's right... my very LAST semester!!!!! My practicum experience is in a lovely elementary school with a wonderful supervisor! Learning how to provide therapy for these children has been so much fun!

Presently, I'm enjoying a day off of classes and therapy due to the beautifully brilliant, white snow everywhere! Happy snow day!