Gardening... It's Life Giving

Last Spring, with all of the stresses and demands of a first-year job, I decided to do an experimental garden. This new experience has brought such joy to my life, as I eagerly come home from work to check on the growth of my vegetables or spend hours on the weekends in the fresh air working the rich soil.

Although last summer's garden croaked with our scorching sun, I tried a fall garden and have had incredible success! The bountiful crop of spinach, red leaf, and green leaf lettuce has been sufficient for daily salads for myself and my neighbors. The carrots are deliciously sweet and flavorful and are now a favored snack.

Under the guidance of the Farmer's Almanac, new seeds have been planted and will be planted! Witnessing seeds growing to fruition is beautiful and fills my heart with joy!

(Above: my garden this fall; Below: garden this winter)

(Above and below: my garden this spring... so far.)

Health Insurance

There are aspects of adult-hood that I am still learning about. One is health insurance. It's a new thing for me. I haven't quite got the hang of it. Obviously I haven't because my insurance year starts over September 1 and just this week I called to set up my first eye and dental appointments. Fortunately, they had available appointment times for me before I wasted an entire year of insurance.

Yesterday I visited the ophthalmologist... yeah, yeah, so I didn't know the difference of an ophthalmologist and an optometrist. Apparently I went to the wrong place, although they were fine with me being there- I just had to pay far more than my $10 co-pay with my vision insurance. Alas. I listened to a lecture about sleeping in my contacts and the consequences I would suffer if I decided to continue this abuse. So tonight I'm blogging with my contacts in the cleaning case and my glasses on my face- pat on the back.

Today was the dentist appointment. I decided that a thick, sound-proof door is strategically placed to separate the waiting area and the daunting rooms hidden beyond it. Upon opening that magical door, the unnerving sounds of drilling, metal pointy things scraping, and mysterious-but-oh-so-unpleasant noises are easily audible. I imagine if the dentist office sounds made it all the way to the waiting area, I would have left an hour and a half sooner (and so would anybody else who is in their right mind). Why do we subject ourselves to such terrible experiences as dental work? Anyway, after 20 x-rays and at about 15 gags, the dental hygienist lectured me on the appropriate way to brush my teeth, or rather my gums, and that 5 years is too long of a "spann" in-between visits. Then I was informed that I would need to make two more appointments for them to drill, poke, and prod deeply into my teeth. Bummer. The news made my face flush with anxiety- hearing the drill in the other room is terrifying enough, so I definitely don't want that weapon in my mouth. Needless to say, as soon as I closed myself into Surely Dimple, my beautiful new car (who has character due to a serious hail storm), tears came bursting out. So, I remembered how my parents always consoled us after doctor appointments by taking us out for ice cream, so of course that was Surely's next stop- ice cream offers sweet comfort to a drilled, gagged, scraped, poked, and tartar-free mouth.

Captured my Heart

My kinder and first grade students have absolutely captured my heart! These are some of the comments and compliments I received from my students just this week…

“Thpeech teacher, you’re tho pretty.”

“Did you spray paint your hair?”

Pointing to my freckled hands, “You can put cream on your dotth tho they go away.” “You mean my freckles? Well, they’re part of my skin. Look at your arm… your skin is tan, and mine is white with brown dots.” “Tho they’re permanent!?”

“I love coming to speech!” “I love coming to thpeech, too!” "Me too!"

“Ms. Carroll, you’re so fun!”

“I love you, Ms. Carroll”

“I like you’re hair.”

“Ms. Cawol, want to thee my thilly danth?”

“You’re the bethteth!”

“I love love love speech!”

“I like you’re scarf.”

“Yea! I det to doe to thpeech today! I’ve mithed you!” (big hug)

I knock on the door to a kindergarten room. Door opens, and 5-10 students raise their hands and exclaim, “When do I get to go to speech?” “I want to go to speech!” “Will you pick me up today?” “Will you pick me up tomorrow?”

On Friday afternoon, looking stressed, frazzled, and puffy eyed (after my 9^th ARD for the week and after crying for about an hour over a huge mistake I made with incredible time-intensive consequences)…“Peech Teacher, you’re the prettieth girl in the whole, whole world!”

Sweet compliments, silly dances, big hugs, random comments, and precious students bring a smile to my face and fill my speech room with laughter! Thank You, Lord, for these students who warm my heart and lift my spirits.

My Repertoire

A couple of years ago I learned about musical repertoires in a sermon. The minister stated that a musician's repertoire is the group of songs the musician has played so frequently and mastered so beautifully, that he/she can play any of those themes at any given moment. The songs have been practiced and played time and time again until they flow from his/her fingertips as effortlessly and naturally as breathing in and out.

He then challenged us with the question, "What is the tune of your life?". My theme song was easy to recognize, but difficult to own. "Stress" and "Anxiety" are the songs that I play. As a Christian, I should be practicing the tunes of "Peace", "Patience", "Kindness", "Love", and "Joy" in hopes to play my piano as beautifully as my Teacher. For these melodies bring Him glory and spread His peace throughout the world.

Upon hearing this sermon, I was discouraged at the realization of my theme song; however, I had a glimmer of hope with the belief that the stresses of graduate school would be among the most difficult to endure in my life (and that it was only a two-year journey). I had high hopes for my life after graduation... hopes to have the time to enjoy the hobbies that bring me so much pleasure... hopes to have the time to invest in the relationships of people I truly value... hopes to have the time to devote to serving the elderly at a skilled nursing facility... hopes to have the time to teach children in Sunday School... hopes to have the time...

To borrow the quote from Anne of Green Gables, "my life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes". This may all sound dramatic, but it IS true that I have been tremendously disappointed at the reality of my current situation. I STILL consistently work 11-15 hour days. I sleep, eat, and work- that's it. I always have work to do on the weekends. I have been so stressed that I have migraines about every other day. Every single week is like the finals week of grad school. The tunes of "Stress" and "Anxiety" continue to repeat indefinitely. And I have yet to learn how to play "Peace" in the midst of chaos.

1st Six Weeks

The first six weeks has ended... and, boy howdy, has it been a crazy six weeks! From the very first time I stepped into my classroom, I discovered that I didn't learn half of what I needed to know to be a speech-language pathologist in graduate school (or in undergrad, for that matter). One would think that six years of higher education would not only prepare you for the first year, but would provide you with the knowledge base you need to be confident in your job performance. But, no. (Feeling completely incompetent and ignorant is, by no means, a reflection of my school. Rather, it is just verification that speech therapy is a difficult profession!)

Because of the incredibly steep learning curve, I have found myself putting in eleven to twelve hour days regularly... and then coming home with work to do. It's been an exhausting six weeks, and a humbling one. Alas, humility has been the reoccurring lesson these last few years... but one day God will bless me with the Kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 5:3).

I had anticipated having pleasant, quiet evenings to cook, sew, play my piano, crochet, scrapbook, read, and journal; however, there has been little time to enjoy my numerous hobbies. Kevin's birthday scarf remains half-done, my darling Valentine quilt continues to sit on my closet shelf, my lovely (and heavy) piano is still not tuned, my beautiful pots and pans have kept their new, sleek shine, and my arabesque is as graceful a football player's.

One interest, though, that has crept back into my life, is our family-favorite radio drama series of "Adventures in Odyssey". I'll listen to these moral lessons with the characters I grew up with as I get ready for bed, or get ready for school, or as a reward after a long day's work. In celebration of surviving the first six weeks of school, I tuned into "Adventures in Odyssey", relaxed on the sofa, and sobbed with my tender, stressed-out heart as Connie, a main character on the show, accepted Jesus into her heart.

Thank you, Focus on the Family, for writing and broadcasting this series, and other radio theaters, to "help families thrive". And thank you, Mom and Dad, for supporting their mission, for raising us with Godly morals and high standards, and for training your children (and continuing to raise children) to be the salt and light in this dark, tasteless, and decaying world.

To enjoy Focus on the Family's "Adventure's in Odyssey", click below.
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/popups/media_player.aspx?Tab=Shows&subcategory=AdventuresInOdyssey

The Latest News

Goodness! It has been quite a while since my last post! So, here are the news headlines in the Caryn Carroll Chronicle:

Passed all of my tests!!!
Graduated!!!!
Got a job!!!
Moved!

That's right, all of graduate school and tests for licensure and certification are passed and past! Whew! Here's a picture to prove it!
The summer break provided a couple of months to end my life-long career of "student" and begin a new life as a real "adult". The respite also supplied time to enjoy my wonderful family and friends, including a trip to Washington (state) and Fredericksburg!

A few weeks ago my loyal dad and brothers helped me load up my piano, yet again, and all of my junk to move into a garage apartment in Grand Prairie... for this is where I am employed as a "speech-language pathologist - clinical fellow" (SLP-CF) for the 2010-2011 school year!

The last two weeks I have endured intense training to prepare for this year, and today was the official beginning of the school year. Many many many children and parents and siblings roamed throughout the building in search of their classes... and I couldn't help but think, "I'm soooo glad I'm not a student!" A couple of hours later educators guided their classes throughout the building, and as I witnessed a boy slithering down the hall like a snake while the teacher attempted to instruct her 20ish elementary students to stand in a single-file line... I couldn't help but think, "I'm soooo glad I'm not a public school teacher!" Then, as I returned to my peaceful room to organize the students on my caseload into an excel spreadsheet and place sticky notes on their files, I just couldn't help but think, "I'm so glad I'm a speech-language pathologist!"

It's true, I'm very excited about this next year, and I'm so thankful to be where I am! These last few months I have seen and experienced the grace of God as He has provided for me in so many ways! He has provided me a safe living situation, a job, and enough money to make it until my first paycheck. He has also provided good Christian people to work with... my mentor, the other first year SLP, another SLP, my principal, and my neighbor across the hall! So often when I pray for the Lord's provision, I expect God to wait until the last minute.. as if He likes to see me stressed and in a tizzy ("tizzy is a funny word!"). And although our faith and trust in our God can grow as we wait for Him to provide, I am so thankful that He took care of me before I had time to stress too much! God really is good. And He really is the Great Provider.

Coffee = Productivity

I've been in college for six years... six years! But this is the very first semester that the wonderful side-effects of coffee have actually worked! I'll be tired of studying or my eye lids will droop and linger a little longer, so I decide to brew some coffee. With my favorite coffee cup in one hand and biscotti in my left (compliments of my cousin), my energy is renewed and interest in aphasia, dysarthria, dysphagia, articulation, phonology, language, and cognition is revived! Hoorah! As a result, I've read through the entire blue book and two COMPS notebooks! Bring on the tests!
(Me and a dear friend enjoying a cup of costa coffee in Oxford!)