So, why is graduate school so difficult?
It’s not just because the standards are higher, or that I’m learning 20X as much information as I learned before. Nor is it just because I’ve left all of my dear friends and family to come to a huge city where I know so few people.
Every single day I’m confronted with my ignorance and my incompetence. Seven days a week I don’t have a clue how to do what is expected of me (which is why everything takes twice as long to complete). At the beginning of the semester, each student is placed in a clinical practicum where he/she has had absolutely no experience. We are forced to provide services to real human beings, but we are merely shooting in the dark. By the end of the semester we have gained enough confidence in our therapy that we don’t feel quite as inept, but then the semester is over and we begin a new experience where we are as ignorant and useless as before. It’s a wretched cycle. Being reminded of how incompetent you are is like a blow to the gut. And so why am I exhausted and weary all of the time? Because I’ve been punched everyday for two semesters! I asked God for humility… and boy howdy! He gave it!
2 comments:
Thank God that you love to learn. Otherwise, you'd probably quit. Something deep inside you, Caryn, is the gumption and strength to keep on keeping on, even when it hurts. It's a very admirable quality, and I am proud of you.
Caryn - you are the best. :) No matter what anyone else thinks. Just tell them that I said so.
Are you ready to hang out in a few weeks? I can't wait to see you!
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