Playing Paper!

With the dream of leaving the States one day to do full-time mission work, I'm cracking down on my budget to completely pay off my student loans (I'm doing the hard-core cash envelope system). My generous and creative sister, Amber, inspired me to make a cute envelope system, which makes budgeting so much more enjoyable! Thanks to Columbus, I was able to play paper and complete this project today.

It all started with paper and ribbon.

 

(my car- the one with endearing hail damage)

And done!

                                  

My Mission

It was my seventh grade year when God planted a passion within me for mission work. While reading Catherine Marshall's book Christy, a yearning within me grew to become a missionary, to teach underprivileged (as well as missionary) children, and to share Jesus with them. My life, thus far, has been directed in such a way to make this dream a reality. Beginning college majoring in Missions, later turned into a major in Education, which then quickly changed into Speech-Language Pathology. My education and career choices have all been preparation for my dream of teaching on the "mission field".

Having been raised in a missions-minded family I've been taught to consider where I am... right now... as my "mission field"- and I have always taken that seriously. I believed that God had purposes for me in my school district when I accepted the position to serve this elementary school as a speech-language pathologist. As challenges arise, however, and as difficulties in life occur, and as stress surpasses manageable levels, it is easy to become discouraged and lose sight of the "bigger picture" of the work that I'm doing in the lives of my precious children. And it was a time like this, when I needed some confirmation that God had chosen me to work at my school with my children to further His kingdom.

So, God sent me to Ecuador. Since last December, I've been searching for an opportunity to GO and to go ANYWHERE for the summer of 2012! After several mission trip opportunities fell-through for the summer, and after June and July nearly passed, a trip to Ecuador was finally planned. While journeying across the country of Ecuador, and experiencing a few days worth of the food and culture, I "scouted-it-out" as a possible country to serve full-time in the near future doing mission work. The experience was great, and I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to see Geoff and Jamie in this country they love so dearly!  

But, immediately upon my arrival back to the States, it became so clear to me that Ecuador is not my "mission field". My heart is with my kids... MY kids... at MY school. This is my mission. This is where God has called me for now. I'm providing speech-language services to special education students who need a voice, and who need someone to love them, and who so desperately need to experience the mercy and love of our great God. And that's what I get to do! I get to love them as Christ loves me!

My Hair Is Found

For those of you who have been wondering... my hair was found and there was much rejoicing!!! Thank you, Aunt Laura! When my uncle picked me up from the salon, the bag of hair must have slipped out of my purse. Whew! Now I can enjoy Meredith's incredible cut/style without lamenting my long lost locks.

My Hair

One of my favorite scenes in Little Women follows the devastating telegram informing the March family that their father is ill. Marmie is desperately needing the funds for the trip to visit her husband in the hospital in Washington and has resorted to borrowing money from the crotchety Aunt March. However, Jo schemes a different plan... she sells her long, beautify hair. That evening in bed Jo gives a stifled sob, and Meg asks, "Jo, dear, what is it? Are you crying about father?" Jo replies, "No, not now." "What then?" "My --my hair!" burst our poor Jo, trying vainly to smother her emotion in the pillow. It makes me teary and chuckle simultaneously! And yesterday, I lived it.

So, my brush broke last week. Apparently it was time for a hair cut. I've been growing it out for seven years to donate, but I hadn't anticipated chopping it off so soon until my sister expressed her desire to cut hers. We scheduled an appointment (with our cousin Meredith... practically a pro!), and we both left the salon with ziplocks of our hair to donate for wigs for girls with cancer.

A kink in the hair donation plan occurred to me as I was heading home... where was my bag of hair? Somewhere between the salon and my aunt's house lies a ziplock of 8 inches of curly red hair. Needless to say, my drive home ended up being a sob story of a girl who cut off all of her hair. For, the decision to chop my hair off was solely for the purpose of donating and definitely not because I wanted short hair. Making a sacrifice for a woman battling cancer is one thing... but sacrificing for no reason- there is no pleasure in that.

There is still some hope that the baggy of my hair will be found, but until then, I'm...(sigh)... adjusting.

Before

After

Summer Highlights

I love summertime!!! Relaxing. Cooking. Family. Organizing. Pandemic. Crocheting. Gardening. Armadillo. Sleeping. Memory Foam. Piano. Friends. Carcassonne. Disney. Princesses. P90X. Aunthood. Fishing. Painting. Swimming. Netflix. Pacific. Ecuador. Whales. Tweega Jo.

The family with our favorite Disney Princess.

The kids and mom at Magic Kingdom. It's magical!!!

Painting with a Twist with my school buddies.

Being an aunt. LOVE IT!!!

Meet Tweega Jo- the new addition to my family. She and I have such a wonderful life together!

Armadillo in my garden- yes, there were lots of squeals, banging sticks, and running for our lives.

My friend Kayla and the purple carrot from my garden!

My fresh produce. It's amazing to see things grow! And it's amazing to eat them!

My youngest sibs with dough... calzones! Yum!

"Porque no?" Why not lie in a hammock on the porch of a mansion with a perfectly manicured yard that overlooks the Pacific Ocean?

Redneck Golf... surrounded by coconut trees while listening to the waves crashing onto the beach. 

Do you see all of those dinosaurs? Nastified.

Whale watching (aka "whale chasing") buddies

Humpback Whales

And some more.

Blue-Footed Boobies. Yes. You read that right.

Riding the waves.

Passion Fruit. Who knew they were so sour?!

A success story

This spring semester has been packed full of speech referrals, assessments, ARD meetings, and paperwork (mounds of paperwork... mountains of paperwork... my desk pretty much looks like the Alps). However, God has given me a few little successes that have filled my body and spirit with enough energy to wake up, prepare for each day, and sign-in to work each morning.

One little success story was with a young student, (of course I can't divulge specific details on the world-wide web, but here's a vague description) who qualified for speech therapy due to a severe/profound articulation/phonological disorder (>1 percentile). After only 5 months of intensive speech therapy, he was dismissed with about 95% PCC (percentage of consonants correct). This bright student came with a severely limited phonetic repertoire (he produce very few speech sounds) and was dismissed with the ability to produce every English phoneme with over 95% accuracy (including the sounds that the developmental norms deem as too complex for his age).  Yea! This was confirmation that speech therapy DOES work and that my hard work isn't in vain.

Gardening... It's Life Giving

Last Spring, with all of the stresses and demands of a first-year job, I decided to do an experimental garden. This new experience has brought such joy to my life, as I eagerly come home from work to check on the growth of my vegetables or spend hours on the weekends in the fresh air working the rich soil.

Although last summer's garden croaked with our scorching sun, I tried a fall garden and have had incredible success! The bountiful crop of spinach, red leaf, and green leaf lettuce has been sufficient for daily salads for myself and my neighbors. The carrots are deliciously sweet and flavorful and are now a favored snack.

Under the guidance of the Farmer's Almanac, new seeds have been planted and will be planted! Witnessing seeds growing to fruition is beautiful and fills my heart with joy!

(Above: my garden this fall; Below: garden this winter)

(Above and below: my garden this spring... so far.)

Health Insurance

There are aspects of adult-hood that I am still learning about. One is health insurance. It's a new thing for me. I haven't quite got the hang of it. Obviously I haven't because my insurance year starts over September 1 and just this week I called to set up my first eye and dental appointments. Fortunately, they had available appointment times for me before I wasted an entire year of insurance.

Yesterday I visited the ophthalmologist... yeah, yeah, so I didn't know the difference of an ophthalmologist and an optometrist. Apparently I went to the wrong place, although they were fine with me being there- I just had to pay far more than my $10 co-pay with my vision insurance. Alas. I listened to a lecture about sleeping in my contacts and the consequences I would suffer if I decided to continue this abuse. So tonight I'm blogging with my contacts in the cleaning case and my glasses on my face- pat on the back.

Today was the dentist appointment. I decided that a thick, sound-proof door is strategically placed to separate the waiting area and the daunting rooms hidden beyond it. Upon opening that magical door, the unnerving sounds of drilling, metal pointy things scraping, and mysterious-but-oh-so-unpleasant noises are easily audible. I imagine if the dentist office sounds made it all the way to the waiting area, I would have left an hour and a half sooner (and so would anybody else who is in their right mind). Why do we subject ourselves to such terrible experiences as dental work? Anyway, after 20 x-rays and at about 15 gags, the dental hygienist lectured me on the appropriate way to brush my teeth, or rather my gums, and that 5 years is too long of a "spann" in-between visits. Then I was informed that I would need to make two more appointments for them to drill, poke, and prod deeply into my teeth. Bummer. The news made my face flush with anxiety- hearing the drill in the other room is terrifying enough, so I definitely don't want that weapon in my mouth. Needless to say, as soon as I closed myself into Surely Dimple, my beautiful new car (who has character due to a serious hail storm), tears came bursting out. So, I remembered how my parents always consoled us after doctor appointments by taking us out for ice cream, so of course that was Surely's next stop- ice cream offers sweet comfort to a drilled, gagged, scraped, poked, and tartar-free mouth.

Captured my Heart

My kinder and first grade students have absolutely captured my heart! These are some of the comments and compliments I received from my students just this week…

“Thpeech teacher, you’re tho pretty.”

“Did you spray paint your hair?”

Pointing to my freckled hands, “You can put cream on your dotth tho they go away.” “You mean my freckles? Well, they’re part of my skin. Look at your arm… your skin is tan, and mine is white with brown dots.” “Tho they’re permanent!?”

“I love coming to speech!” “I love coming to thpeech, too!” "Me too!"

“Ms. Carroll, you’re so fun!”

“I love you, Ms. Carroll”

“I like you’re hair.”

“Ms. Cawol, want to thee my thilly danth?”

“You’re the bethteth!”

“I love love love speech!”

“I like you’re scarf.”

“Yea! I det to doe to thpeech today! I’ve mithed you!” (big hug)

I knock on the door to a kindergarten room. Door opens, and 5-10 students raise their hands and exclaim, “When do I get to go to speech?” “I want to go to speech!” “Will you pick me up today?” “Will you pick me up tomorrow?”

On Friday afternoon, looking stressed, frazzled, and puffy eyed (after my 9^th ARD for the week and after crying for about an hour over a huge mistake I made with incredible time-intensive consequences)…“Peech Teacher, you’re the prettieth girl in the whole, whole world!”

Sweet compliments, silly dances, big hugs, random comments, and precious students bring a smile to my face and fill my speech room with laughter! Thank You, Lord, for these students who warm my heart and lift my spirits.

My Repertoire

A couple of years ago I learned about musical repertoires in a sermon. The minister stated that a musician's repertoire is the group of songs the musician has played so frequently and mastered so beautifully, that he/she can play any of those themes at any given moment. The songs have been practiced and played time and time again until they flow from his/her fingertips as effortlessly and naturally as breathing in and out.

He then challenged us with the question, "What is the tune of your life?". My theme song was easy to recognize, but difficult to own. "Stress" and "Anxiety" are the songs that I play. As a Christian, I should be practicing the tunes of "Peace", "Patience", "Kindness", "Love", and "Joy" in hopes to play my piano as beautifully as my Teacher. For these melodies bring Him glory and spread His peace throughout the world.

Upon hearing this sermon, I was discouraged at the realization of my theme song; however, I had a glimmer of hope with the belief that the stresses of graduate school would be among the most difficult to endure in my life (and that it was only a two-year journey). I had high hopes for my life after graduation... hopes to have the time to enjoy the hobbies that bring me so much pleasure... hopes to have the time to invest in the relationships of people I truly value... hopes to have the time to devote to serving the elderly at a skilled nursing facility... hopes to have the time to teach children in Sunday School... hopes to have the time...

To borrow the quote from Anne of Green Gables, "my life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes". This may all sound dramatic, but it IS true that I have been tremendously disappointed at the reality of my current situation. I STILL consistently work 11-15 hour days. I sleep, eat, and work- that's it. I always have work to do on the weekends. I have been so stressed that I have migraines about every other day. Every single week is like the finals week of grad school. The tunes of "Stress" and "Anxiety" continue to repeat indefinitely. And I have yet to learn how to play "Peace" in the midst of chaos.

1st Six Weeks

The first six weeks has ended... and, boy howdy, has it been a crazy six weeks! From the very first time I stepped into my classroom, I discovered that I didn't learn half of what I needed to know to be a speech-language pathologist in graduate school (or in undergrad, for that matter). One would think that six years of higher education would not only prepare you for the first year, but would provide you with the knowledge base you need to be confident in your job performance. But, no. (Feeling completely incompetent and ignorant is, by no means, a reflection of my school. Rather, it is just verification that speech therapy is a difficult profession!)

Because of the incredibly steep learning curve, I have found myself putting in eleven to twelve hour days regularly... and then coming home with work to do. It's been an exhausting six weeks, and a humbling one. Alas, humility has been the reoccurring lesson these last few years... but one day God will bless me with the Kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 5:3).

I had anticipated having pleasant, quiet evenings to cook, sew, play my piano, crochet, scrapbook, read, and journal; however, there has been little time to enjoy my numerous hobbies. Kevin's birthday scarf remains half-done, my darling Valentine quilt continues to sit on my closet shelf, my lovely (and heavy) piano is still not tuned, my beautiful pots and pans have kept their new, sleek shine, and my arabesque is as graceful a football player's.

One interest, though, that has crept back into my life, is our family-favorite radio drama series of "Adventures in Odyssey". I'll listen to these moral lessons with the characters I grew up with as I get ready for bed, or get ready for school, or as a reward after a long day's work. In celebration of surviving the first six weeks of school, I tuned into "Adventures in Odyssey", relaxed on the sofa, and sobbed with my tender, stressed-out heart as Connie, a main character on the show, accepted Jesus into her heart.

Thank you, Focus on the Family, for writing and broadcasting this series, and other radio theaters, to "help families thrive". And thank you, Mom and Dad, for supporting their mission, for raising us with Godly morals and high standards, and for training your children (and continuing to raise children) to be the salt and light in this dark, tasteless, and decaying world.

To enjoy Focus on the Family's "Adventure's in Odyssey", click below.
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/popups/media_player.aspx?Tab=Shows&subcategory=AdventuresInOdyssey

The Latest News

Goodness! It has been quite a while since my last post! So, here are the news headlines in the Caryn Carroll Chronicle:

Passed all of my tests!!!
Graduated!!!!
Got a job!!!
Moved!

That's right, all of graduate school and tests for licensure and certification are passed and past! Whew! Here's a picture to prove it!
The summer break provided a couple of months to end my life-long career of "student" and begin a new life as a real "adult". The respite also supplied time to enjoy my wonderful family and friends, including a trip to Washington (state) and Fredericksburg!

A few weeks ago my loyal dad and brothers helped me load up my piano, yet again, and all of my junk to move into a garage apartment in Grand Prairie... for this is where I am employed as a "speech-language pathologist - clinical fellow" (SLP-CF) for the 2010-2011 school year!

The last two weeks I have endured intense training to prepare for this year, and today was the official beginning of the school year. Many many many children and parents and siblings roamed throughout the building in search of their classes... and I couldn't help but think, "I'm soooo glad I'm not a student!" A couple of hours later educators guided their classes throughout the building, and as I witnessed a boy slithering down the hall like a snake while the teacher attempted to instruct her 20ish elementary students to stand in a single-file line... I couldn't help but think, "I'm soooo glad I'm not a public school teacher!" Then, as I returned to my peaceful room to organize the students on my caseload into an excel spreadsheet and place sticky notes on their files, I just couldn't help but think, "I'm so glad I'm a speech-language pathologist!"

It's true, I'm very excited about this next year, and I'm so thankful to be where I am! These last few months I have seen and experienced the grace of God as He has provided for me in so many ways! He has provided me a safe living situation, a job, and enough money to make it until my first paycheck. He has also provided good Christian people to work with... my mentor, the other first year SLP, another SLP, my principal, and my neighbor across the hall! So often when I pray for the Lord's provision, I expect God to wait until the last minute.. as if He likes to see me stressed and in a tizzy ("tizzy is a funny word!"). And although our faith and trust in our God can grow as we wait for Him to provide, I am so thankful that He took care of me before I had time to stress too much! God really is good. And He really is the Great Provider.

Coffee = Productivity

I've been in college for six years... six years! But this is the very first semester that the wonderful side-effects of coffee have actually worked! I'll be tired of studying or my eye lids will droop and linger a little longer, so I decide to brew some coffee. With my favorite coffee cup in one hand and biscotti in my left (compliments of my cousin), my energy is renewed and interest in aphasia, dysarthria, dysphagia, articulation, phonology, language, and cognition is revived! Hoorah! As a result, I've read through the entire blue book and two COMPS notebooks! Bring on the tests!
(Me and a dear friend enjoying a cup of costa coffee in Oxford!)

Friday night "fun"

Friday night... home alone... everyone has fun plans and I turned down all invitations to have a one-on-one coffee date with my 760 page/33 pounds "advanced review of speech-language pathology" book. Honestly, I'm not too interested in my "date" tonight. This humongo book has far too much to say, and it's making my brain hurt. But, the White Chocolate Macadamia Nut creamer is very tasty!

In 6 days I will have a mid-term in the absolutely-most-difficult-class-of-my-life, in 7 days I will have my comprehensive exams (must pass this 4.5 hour written test to graduate), and in 8 days I will have my national licensure test (must pass to work as a speech-language pathologist). Then... in 9 days I will head back to Abilene to sleep, relax, sleep, and spend spring-break with my friends and family!!

Please add me to your prayer list. My stress level has gradually increased over the past two weeks, and this past week my right eyelid hasn't stopped twitching. My hypothesis is that the massive knots in my neck/shoulders are obstructing the blood supply for Cranial nerve III (which is one of the 5 nerves that I don't have to know because it has nothing to do with phonation or speech-language pathology). But, anyway, that's a far-fetched idea. My eyelid isn't really a prayer-request- just a comment.

Aunt-hood!

I absolutely LOVE being an aunt! Eleven months ago my dear sister had a baby girl in Indianapolis. About nine months ago, my sister, brother-in-law, and niece moved to Texas where I welcomed them with wide-open arms! Their move has allowed me to enjoy weekly visits with Ruby (as well as tea-time with her beautiful mother, and occasional gaming with her dad).

What I love about being an aunt:
-Having dozens of pictures of my niece saved on my phone so I'm always ready to show off my niece to friends at work and church.
-Having a picture of my perfect niece as my background image on my laptop so my friends can gawk and ooh-ahh at her in the middle of a lecture!
-Spending Friday nights as the babysitter and having prime-time with Ruby!
-Occasionally getting to tuck her in for her nap or for bed and having her snuggle her sweet head on my shoulder!
-Teaching her silly songs like "Pants on the Ground" and making her laugh so hard!
-Teaching her sweet songs like "A- You're Adorable" which make her smile so big!
-Showing her how to lindy-hop and waltz... and once again, making her laugh!
-Demonstrating how to roll over and witnessing her first success at this milestone.
-Feeding her sweet potatoes and making funny faces and noises like Elastigirl from "The Incredibles"
-Witnessing her first successful placement of her sweet baby hands to sign for "more".
-Being so familiar to her that she prefers me to other people in the room (except her parents, of course)
-Having a precious niece cry out and whimper when I leave her sight! Ah! I love it!
-Being absolutely ridiculous and uninhibited to encourage a laugh or smile!

What I like about Mom...

What I like about Mom is that she welcomes a challenge. I admire how she dove back into school to get her teacher's certificate... and how she stood up to the challenge of working at Kenley with children who are not the easiest to teach... and how she took the teaching job at a private classical school where the standards were very high... and how she plunged herself into a new life as a mother of lots and lots of dramatic daughters. And these events are just in the last 5 years... she has conquered many quests in her life, and I'm very proud of the life she lives! Thank you for taking up the challenge of raising 7 great kids- I'm so glad you have persevered!

Breaking the Silence...

I apologize for neglecting this poor blog by remaining silent for so long! So... I'll just briefly catch you up!

I'm now living in Denton with my aunt, uncle and cousins which has been such a blessing and joy! I've learned a lot about pop culture, reality tv shows, musicians, actors, classic films, fashion, and eggs! Also, this semester is my very last semester of graduate school... that's right... my very LAST semester!!!!! My practicum experience is in a lovely elementary school with a wonderful supervisor! Learning how to provide therapy for these children has been so much fun!

Presently, I'm enjoying a day off of classes and therapy due to the beautifully brilliant, white snow everywhere! Happy snow day!

Panera Bread, how I love you!

Panera Bread is a cafe I've discovered in my one-and-a-half years of living in Dallas. I love it! It serves delicious soups, salads, and sandwiches, and offers a relaxing environment in the midst of the hectic city life. This wonderful place bakes delicious breads and desserts to satisfy any craving you may have. Plus, you can order your soup in a bread bowl at no extra cost! How cool is that!? A bottomless cup of coffee is inexpensive- and they have half-and-half and sugar to add to their flavors of coffee (today I'm enjoying a Hazelnut brew). I come here, find a quiet booth, and stay for hours at a time to study for my tests or write my papers or merely to enjoy their free wireless internet! Ahh... this place hits the spot!

No Sabbath = Sickness

It's pretty clear from the scriptures and from observing nature that God intends for His people to Sabbath. Not only is Sabbath a command, but it is also our nature- its how we were created. We are to work 6 days and rest on the seventh. We need the rest! God created us to Sabbath every night (with sleep) and one day a week. Sabbath is not a cruel command- it's a gracious gift! But we so often refuse this gift because it doesn't fit into our schedules with our current lifestyle.

In my life, the times that I get sick are when I don't allot enough time for my body to rest (i.e. right now). I've been running around like crazy trying to complete all of my school assignments, working at the research lab at school, and interning at Parkland. I understand that this is only a season, but it's been an exhausting season that defies my nature- my need for Sabbath. So, here I am now, sick as a dog, getting little work or schoolwork done. When I don't give my body the Sabbath it desires and requires, my body rebels and demands that rest through illness.

Self-Evaluation

Subjective: Pt sitting on couch c laptop. 0 family present. Pt alert & cooperative throughout tasks, however pt reports increased fatigue and lability. Pt blogging; however pt reports need to study & read for class.

Objective: Pt c 7/8 on delayed recall. Pt c 10/10 on moderately complex information processing c 3 visual cues. Pt c 9/10 on complex information processing c 5 visual cues. Pt c 3/3 on complex problem solving. Pt c 3/3 on story recall task. Pt writing at complex P level c 95% accuracy utilizing complex sentences. Pt c decreased initiation and motivation to prepare for classes. Pt c decreased attention to reading tasks. Pt requiring min verbal cueing to A in completion of assignments. Pt c + insight into deficits. Pt reports increased lethargy secondary to decreased amount of sleep.

Assessment: Pt p/w moderate senioritis complicated by mild-moderate sleep deprivation.

Plan:
1. Pt will sleep min of 8 hours/night for 7 days/week with 100% accuracy to improve cognitive performance and emotional lability and to decrease lethargy and fatigue.
2. Pt will verbally produce thanksgiving for 10 blessings/day regarding current situation (including school) with 80% accuracy to improve motivation and initiation.
3. Pt will attend to reading/writing tasks for 2 hours/day to ensure completion of assignments and increased accuracy on examinations.
4. Pt will complete blog post in <2 minutes to improve productivity for the rest of the evening.

(From Wikipedia: The main symptoms of senioritis include chronic procrastination, lack of motivation, a drop in academic performance, and "coasting," which is the act of going through classes with very little concentration or application of intent. This usually happens in the last year of middle school, high school, college or graduate school.)