Proposals and the like...

Providing therapy services for adults has been a learning experience... sometimes stressful and sometimes amusing! There is one elderly gentleman who is constantly commenting on my "beautiful red hair" and asking me to turn around so he can look at it once more. One day he even took off his cap, held it over his heart, and asked me to marry him. Fortunately my supervisor was there to provide a polite, yet professional, response on my behalf. A younger client I work with is constantly inviting me over to his house to "hang out" (which is obviously not permitted!). These little instances keep me smiling. However, this week my young client's uninhibited request made me laugh aloud in disgust and astonishment! After therapy I was talking with my supervisor when my young adult client approached us. My supervisor introduced him to the prospect of coming for therapy over the summer. With flat affect, he slowly processed the invitation. While moving his eyes up and down my body he asked, "Well, could I get a 'little something' on the side?". What?!! Who asks that?!? I chuckle and remind myself that a frontal lobe injury will lead a young male to say exactly what he's thinking in the most inappropriate time and setting.

I think I've figured it out!

So, why is graduate school so difficult?

It’s not just because the standards are higher, or that I’m learning 20X as much information as I learned before. Nor is it just because I’ve left all of my dear friends and family to come to a huge city where I know so few people.

Every single day I’m confronted with my ignorance and my incompetence. Seven days a week I don’t have a clue how to do what is expected of me (which is why everything takes twice as long to complete). At the beginning of the semester, each student is placed in a clinical practicum where he/she has had absolutely no experience. We are forced to provide services to real human beings, but we are merely shooting in the dark. By the end of the semester we have gained enough confidence in our therapy that we don’t feel quite as inept, but then the semester is over and we begin a new experience where we are as ignorant and useless as before. It’s a wretched cycle. Being reminded of how incompetent you are is like a blow to the gut. And so why am I exhausted and weary all of the time? Because I’ve been punched everyday for two semesters! I asked God for humility… and boy howdy! He gave it!

Spring Break!

Midterms were a doozy this semester, but they are over! To celebrate spring break, I went to visit Amber and Kent in Indianapolis! Whoop!

Two very great things happened while I was there...
1. Ruby Grace Brantly was born! My sister became a mother (I'm still trying to wrap my mind around that fact), and I became an aunt!
2. Kent found out where he, Amber, and Ruby will live the next four years for his residency program... Fort Worth!!!!

Life seems to have changed drastically in one year. Amber was single and living in California last spring break. Now she has a husband and a daughter. One year ago I was still in undergrad living in Abilene. It feels like such a distant memory.

What I like about Mom...

I realize that this is a month late... but I didn't get to be in Abilene for Mom's birthday to participate in our wonderful family tradition of sharing what we like about the birthday person!
So... What I like about Mom is that she is my personal cheerleader! I love that I can call her when I'm in tears from the stresses of my studies or life, and she encourages me to trudge forward and excel. She is a huge support who encouraged her children's personal growth through kind words, deep insight, creative ideas, genuine love, and homemade goodies.

In my academic panics, I don't necessarily need to know exactly how to give a feeding evaluation, or perform a modified barium swallow, or diagnose a patient with severe Broca's aphasia with profound verbal apraxia and moderate Flaccid Dysarthria, (etc.) , I just need Mom to talk me through the practical steps of breathing deeply and making a glass of Rooibos Chai tea, and reassuring me that I CAN do this. Thanks, Mom, for being my cheerleader and encourager throughout my life! Love you bunches!

25 Random Things About Me

A few of my friends have written 25 random things about themselves and posted the list on facebook. They asked me to write some things, too, and I figured I would share mine with you!

1. I want to be a ballerina. …but really.
2. I kill houseplants. I want so desperately to nourish them and help them reach their full potential… but they just die.
3. I want to be able to play the piano. I was given a beautiful piano last Christmas and have attempted to make music with it, but I eagerly await the day when the tune produced by my fingers is actually tolerable for the human ear.
4. I’m a grandma at heart. I love to sew, quilt, crochet, knit, cross-stitch, scrapbook, and play scrabble.
5. I’m obsessed with Settlers of Catan. It is the most ingenious game ever created- it’s brilliant!
6. I love racquetball and would play it everyday if time permitted.
   
7. Excel spreadsheets give me a thrill! I smile out of delight any time I get to open one! (Yes… I am a nerd)
8. A constant longing in my heart is to dance! I’ve started swing dancing this year and have enjoyed it a great deal, but my heart always leaps for joy anytime a waltz starts to play!
9. Another constant longing in my heart is for pizza! I could eat it every day! Mmm!
10. I pole vaulted in high school. I learned via the internet…I wasn’t too good- but I loved every minute of it!
11. I prefer listening to radio theaters or books on CDs over listening to music. This makes me feel more productive.
12. Baking is therapeutic to me.
13. I love simplicity.
14. Languages fascinate me, and I fully intend to be bilingual by age 25.
15. One of my favorite things that I did in undergrad was play Assassins! It was ever-so-much fun! But… I died.
16. I loved traveling in Europe, and I look forward to returning to that enchanting continent soon.
17. I am Anne of Green Gables.
18. My 10^th birthday party is one of my fondest memories! My friends and I dressed up in fancy dresses and wore antique hats as we drank tea (or chocolate milk) out of my mom’s china. The average age of my invited guests was about 60 years.
19. I like grammar. (But I never try to be grammatically correct when I journal or blog)
20. I don’t prefer to share information about myself unless someone asks a specific question. I enjoy answering questions.
21. I love water! I think it is so very delicious!
22. Iced tea came out my nose when I was in elementary school- I haven’t cared for it since.
23. I eat soup every day- I like it a lot!
    
24. Most chick-flicks annoy me, but I do have exceptions.
25. I love the outdoors! I love climbing trees, taking walks, hiking, biking, camping, canoing, and kayaking.

A Catch-Breath

This semester has already been far more pleasant than the last (thank You, God), but that doesn't mean that it's been easy. I have a roommate, a place to live, and a great job! But I also have new classes, hundreds of pages to read, papers to write, projects to complete, tests to study for, and therapy sessions to prepare for (I know... I shouldn't end a phrase in a preposition- oh well). I'm truly exhausted, and yet so thankful to not have the hiccups this semester!

In the midst of my exhaustion, I had a great weekend with my mom, sister, grandma, aunts (and uncle), cousins, and friends! We played "Paper" all weekend, which means that we went to specialty paper stores and made artsy-crafty things while drinking coffee, laughing excessively, and enjoying the company of the people we love so dearly. This weekend was a "catch-breath", and I'm so thankful for it! Perhaps I can endure the rest of graduate school with "catch-breaths" like this one!



In case you're interested- A catch-breath is a tiny breath in the middle of a phrase or sentence which provides you with enough air to complete the thought without taking a full breath of air. This is a compensatory strategy speech-language pathologists teach to aid their clients who are unable to use their air more efficiently when they speak (often because of neurological or physical damage).

Independence

We grow up aspiring to be independent. As toddlers we learn to walk by ourselves and feed ourselves. In a couple of years, we become able to retrieve our own glass from the tall cabinet and pour our own milk. Years later we will count down the days until we attain our driver's license which will allow us to travel anywhere all by ourselves. Then we graduate and move on to college, out from under our parents' roof. And once you've graduated from college- well... then you are really an adult- living by yourself, paying your own bills, driving your own car, and entering the work force- the "real world".

Many life lessons were learned this past semester. The biggest lesson was that independence is not a reflection of the lifestyle that God desires for His people. God created the Church because He knows we need the Church- we need relationship to survive this messy world in which we live. While reading Young's novel The Shack a few quotes regarding independence stuck out to me. "The world is broken because in Eden we abandoned a relationship with God to assert our own independence." That makes me wonder how much better the world would be if we decided to live in a community of relationship (with people and with our Creator) rather than in isolation. Later in the book, Jesus explains that "Being his follower is not trying to 'be like Jesus', it means for your independence to be killed."

Through the many trials I have faced while living "on my own", God has really forced me to become dependent on Him and on the Church. There is such beauty in living in relationship with God and with His followers. I am so very, very blessed to have a wonderful community of Christ followers to be dependent upon! They offer love and life in a world that desperately needs it, and they also offer a roof for me to live under for as long as I need it. Dependence is humbling, and thus difficult, but perhaps living in humility will lead to transformation.