Life's Simple Pleasures

Gardening... It's Life Giving

2012-03-14T09:23:00.006-06:00

Last Spring, with all of the stresses and demands of a first-year job, I decided to do an experimental garden. This new experience has brought such joy to my life, as I eagerly come home from work to check on the growth of my vegetables or spend hours on the weekends in the fresh air working the rich soil.

Although last summer's garden croaked with our scorching sun, I tried a fall garden and have had incredible success! The bountiful crop of spinach, red leaf, and green leaf lettuce has been sufficient for daily salads for myself and my neighbors. The carrots are deliciously sweet and flavorful and are now a favored snack.

Under the guidance of the Farmer's Almanac, new seeds have been planted and will be planted! Witnessing seeds growing to fruition is beautiful and fills my heart with joy!

(Above: my garden this fall; Below: garden this winter)

(Above and below: my garden this spring... so far.)

Health Insurance

2011-08-24T20:52:00.003-05:00

There are aspects of adult-hood that I am still learning about. One is health insurance. It's a new thing for me. I haven't quite got the hang of it. Obviously I haven't because my insurance year starts over September 1 and just this week I called to set up my first eye and dental appointments. Fortunately, they had available appointment times for me before I wasted an entire year of insurance.

Yesterday I visited the ophthalmologist... yeah, yeah, so I didn't know the difference of an ophthalmologist and an optometrist. Apparently I went to the wrong place, although they were fine with me being there- I just had to pay far more than my $10 co-pay with my vision insurance. Alas. I listened to a lecture about sleeping in my contacts and the consequences I would suffer if I decided to continue this abuse. So tonight I'm blogging with my contacts in the cleaning case and my glasses on my face- pat on the back.

Today was the dentist appointment. I decided that a thick, sound-proof door is strategically placed to separate the waiting area and the daunting rooms hidden beyond it. Upon opening that magical door, the unnerving sounds of drilling, metal pointy things scraping, and mysterious-but-oh-so-unpleasant noises are easily audible. I imagine if the dentist office sounds made it all the way to the waiting area, I would have left an hour and a half sooner (and so would anybody else who is in their right mind). Why do we subject ourselves to such terrible experiences as dental work? Anyway, after 20 x-rays and at about 15 gags, the dental hygienist lectured me on the appropriate way to brush my teeth, or rather my gums, and that 5 years is too long of a "spann" in-between visits. Then I was informed that I would need to make two more appointments for them to drill, poke, and prod deeply into my teeth. Bummer. The news made my face flush with anxiety- hearing the drill in the other room is terrifying enough, so I definitely don't want that weapon in my mouth. Needless to say, as soon as I closed myself into Surely Dimple, my beautiful new car (who has character due to a serious hail storm), tears came bursting out. So, I remembered how my parents always consoled us after doctor appointments by taking us out for ice cream, so of course that was Surely's next stop- ice cream offers sweet comfort to a drilled, gagged, scraped, poked, and tartar-free mouth.

Captured my Heart

2011-02-20T19:20:00.003-06:00

My kinder and first grade students have absolutely captured my heart! These are some of the comments and compliments I received from my students just this week…

“Thpeech teacher, you’re tho pretty.”

“Did you spray paint your hair?”

Pointing to my freckled hands, “You can put cream on your dotth tho they go away.” “You mean my freckles? Well, they’re part of my skin. Look at your arm… your skin is tan, and mine is white with brown dots.” “Tho they’re permanent!?”

“I love coming to speech!” “I love coming to thpeech, too!” "Me too!"

“Ms. Carroll, you’re so fun!”

“I love you, Ms. Carroll”

“I like you’re hair.”

“Ms. Cawol, want to thee my thilly danth?”

“You’re the bethteth!”

“I love love love speech!”

“I like you’re scarf.”

“Yea! I det to doe to thpeech today! I’ve mithed you!” (big hug)

I knock on the door to a kindergarten room. Door opens, and 5-10 students raise their hands and exclaim, “When do I get to go to speech?” “I want to go to speech!” “Will you pick me up today?” “Will you pick me up tomorrow?”

On Friday afternoon, looking stressed, frazzled, and puffy eyed (after my 9^th ARD for the week and after crying for about an hour over a huge mistake I made with incredible time-intensive consequences)…“Peech Teacher, you’re the prettieth girl in the whole, whole world!”

Sweet compliments, silly dances, big hugs, random comments, and precious students bring a smile to my face and fill my speech room with laughter! Thank You, Lord, for these students who warm my heart and lift my spirits.

My Repertoire

2010-12-03T18:45:00.003-06:00

A couple of years ago I learned about musical repertoires in a sermon. The minister stated that a musician's repertoire is the group of songs the musician has played so frequently and mastered so beautifully, that he/she can play any of those themes at any given moment. The songs have been practiced and played time and time again until they flow from his/her fingertips as effortlessly and naturally as breathing in and out.

He then challenged us with the question, "What is the tune of your life?". My theme song was easy to recognize, but difficult to own. "Stress" and "Anxiety" are the songs that I play. As a Christian, I should be practicing the tunes of "Peace", "Patience", "Kindness", "Love", and "Joy" in hopes to play my piano as beautifully as my Teacher. For these melodies bring Him glory and spread His peace throughout the world.

Upon hearing this sermon, I was discouraged at the realization of my theme song; however, I had a glimmer of hope with the belief that the stresses of graduate school would be among the most difficult to endure in my life (and that it was only a two-year journey). I had high hopes for my life after graduation... hopes to have the time to enjoy the hobbies that bring me so much pleasure... hopes to have the time to invest in the relationships of people I truly value... hopes to have the time to devote to serving the elderly at a skilled nursing facility... hopes to have the time to teach children in Sunday School... hopes to have the time...

To borrow the quote from Anne of Green Gables, "my life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes". This may all sound dramatic, but it IS true that I have been tremendously disappointed at the reality of my current situation. I STILL consistently work 11-15 hour days. I sleep, eat, and work- that's it. I always have work to do on the weekends. I have been so stressed that I have migraines about every other day. Every single week is like the finals week of grad school. The tunes of "Stress" and "Anxiety" continue to repeat indefinitely. And I have yet to learn how to play "Peace" in the midst of chaos.

1st Six Weeks

2010-10-01T19:36:00.007-05:00

The first six weeks has ended... and, boy howdy, has it been a crazy six weeks! From the very first time I stepped into my classroom, I discovered that I didn't learn half of what I needed to know to be a speech-language pathologist in graduate school (or in undergrad, for that matter). One would think that six years of higher education would not only prepare you for the first year, but would provide you with the knowledge base you need to be confident in your job performance. But, no. (Feeling completely incompetent and ignorant is, by no means, a reflection of my school. Rather, it is just verification that speech therapy is a difficult profession!)

Because of the incredibly steep learning curve, I have found myself putting in eleven to twelve hour days regularly... and then coming home with work to do. It's been an exhausting six weeks, and a humbling one. Alas, humility has been the reoccurring lesson these last few years... but one day God will bless me with the Kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 5:3).

I had anticipated having pleasant, quiet evenings to cook, sew, play my piano, crochet, scrapbook, read, and journal; however, there has been little time to enjoy my numerous hobbies. Kevin's birthday scarf remains half-done, my darling Valentine quilt continues to sit on my closet shelf, my lovely (and heavy) piano is still not tuned, my beautiful pots and pans have kept their new, sleek shine, and my arabesque is as graceful a football player's.

One interest, though, that has crept back into my life, is our family-favorite radio drama series of "Adventures in Odyssey". I'll listen to these moral lessons with the characters I grew up with as I get ready for bed, or get ready for school, or as a reward after a long day's work. In celebration of surviving the first six weeks of school, I tuned into "Adventures in Odyssey", relaxed on the sofa, and sobbed with my tender, stressed-out heart as Connie, a main character on the show, accepted Jesus into her heart.

Thank you, Focus on the Family, for writing and broadcasting this series, and other radio theaters, to "help families thrive". And thank you, Mom and Dad, for supporting their mission, for raising us with Godly morals and high standards, and for training your children (and continuing to raise children) to be the salt and light in this dark, tasteless, and decaying world.

To enjoy Focus on the Family's "Adventure's in Odyssey", click below.
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/popups/media_player.aspx?Tab=Shows&subcategory=AdventuresInOdyssey

The Latest News

2010-08-23T19:36:00.005-05:00

Goodness! It has been quite a while since my last post! So, here are the news headlines in the Caryn Carroll Chronicle:

Passed all of my tests!!!
Graduated!!!!
Got a job!!!
Moved!

That's right, all of graduate school and tests for licensure and certification are passed and past! Whew! Here's a picture to prove it!
The summer break provided a couple of months to end my life-long career of "student" and begin a new life as a real "adult". The respite also supplied time to enjoy my wonderful family and friends, including a trip to Washington (state) and Fredericksburg!

A few weeks ago my loyal dad and brothers helped me load up my piano, yet again, and all of my junk to move into a garage apartment in Grand Prairie... for this is where I am employed as a "speech-language pathologist - clinical fellow" (SLP-CF) for the 2010-2011 school year!

The last two weeks I have endured intense training to prepare for this year, and today was the official beginning of the school year. Many many many children and parents and siblings roamed throughout the building in search of their classes... and I couldn't help but think, "I'm soooo glad I'm not a student!" A couple of hours later educators guided their classes throughout the building, and as I witnessed a boy slithering down the hall like a snake while the teacher attempted to instruct her 20ish elementary students to stand in a single-file line... I couldn't help but think, "I'm soooo glad I'm not a public school teacher!" Then, as I returned to my peaceful room to organize the students on my caseload into an excel spreadsheet and place sticky notes on their files, I just couldn't help but think, "I'm so glad I'm a speech-language pathologist!"

It's true, I'm very excited about this next year, and I'm so thankful to be where I am! These last few months I have seen and experienced the grace of God as He has provided for me in so many ways! He has provided me a safe living situation, a job, and enough money to make it until my first paycheck. He has also provided good Christian people to work with... my mentor, the other first year SLP, another SLP, my principal, and my neighbor across the hall! So often when I pray for the Lord's provision, I expect God to wait until the last minute.. as if He likes to see me stressed and in a tizzy ("tizzy is a funny word!"). And although our faith and trust in our God can grow as we wait for Him to provide, I am so thankful that He took care of me before I had time to stress too much! God really is good. And He really is the Great Provider.

Coffee = Productivity

2010-03-09T17:22:00.003-06:00

I've been in college for six years... six years! But this is the very first semester that the wonderful side-effects of coffee have actually worked! I'll be tired of studying or my eye lids will droop and linger a little longer, so I decide to brew some coffee. With my favorite coffee cup in one hand and biscotti in my left (compliments of my cousin), my energy is renewed and interest in aphasia, dysarthria, dysphagia, articulation, phonology, language, and cognition is revived! Hoorah! As a result, I've read through the entire blue book and two COMPS notebooks! Bring on the tests!
(Me and a dear friend enjoying a cup of costa coffee in Oxford!)

Friday night "fun"

2010-03-05T19:16:00.006-06:00

Friday night... home alone... everyone has fun plans and I turned down all invitations to have a one-on-one coffee date with my 760 page/33 pounds "advanced review of speech-language pathology" book. Honestly, I'm not too interested in my "date" tonight. This humongo book has far too much to say, and it's making my brain hurt. But, the White Chocolate Macadamia Nut creamer is very tasty!

In 6 days I will have a mid-term in the absolutely-most-difficult-class-of-my-life, in 7 days I will have my comprehensive exams (must pass this 4.5 hour written test to graduate), and in 8 days I will have my national licensure test (must pass to work as a speech-language pathologist). Then... in 9 days I will head back to Abilene to sleep, relax, sleep, and spend spring-break with my friends and family!!

Please add me to your prayer list. My stress level has gradually increased over the past two weeks, and this past week my right eyelid hasn't stopped twitching. My hypothesis is that the massive knots in my neck/shoulders are obstructing the blood supply for Cranial nerve III (which is one of the 5 nerves that I don't have to know because it has nothing to do with phonation or speech-language pathology). But, anyway, that's a far-fetched idea. My eyelid isn't really a prayer-request- just a comment.

Aunt-hood!

2010-02-22T16:58:00.003-06:00

I absolutely LOVE being an aunt! Eleven months ago my dear sister had a baby girl in Indianapolis. About nine months ago, my sister, brother-in-law, and niece moved to Texas where I welcomed them with wide-open arms! Their move has allowed me to enjoy weekly visits with Ruby (as well as tea-time with her beautiful mother, and occasional gaming with her dad).

What I love about being an aunt:
-Having dozens of pictures of my niece saved on my phone so I'm always ready to show off my niece to friends at work and church.
-Having a picture of my perfect niece as my background image on my laptop so my friends can gawk and ooh-ahh at her in the middle of a lecture!
-Spending Friday nights as the babysitter and having prime-time with Ruby!
-Occasionally getting to tuck her in for her nap or for bed and having her snuggle her sweet head on my shoulder!
-Teaching her silly songs like "Pants on the Ground" and making her laugh so hard!
-Teaching her sweet songs like "A- You're Adorable" which make her smile so big!
-Showing her how to lindy-hop and waltz... and once again, making her laugh!
-Demonstrating how to roll over and witnessing her first success at this milestone.
-Feeding her sweet potatoes and making funny faces and noises like Elastigirl from "The Incredibles"
-Witnessing her first successful placement of her sweet baby hands to sign for "more".
-Being so familiar to her that she prefers me to other people in the room (except her parents, of course)
-Having a precious niece cry out and whimper when I leave her sight! Ah! I love it!
-Being absolutely ridiculous and uninhibited to encourage a laugh or smile!

What I like about Mom...

2010-02-14T17:40:00.002-06:00

What I like about Mom is that she welcomes a challenge. I admire how she dove back into school to get her teacher's certificate... and how she stood up to the challenge of working at Kenley with children who are not the easiest to teach... and how she took the teaching job at a private classical school where the standards were very high... and how she plunged herself into a new life as a mother of lots and lots of dramatic daughters. And these events are just in the last 5 years... she has conquered many quests in her life, and I'm very proud of the life she lives! Thank you for taking up the challenge of raising 7 great kids- I'm so glad you have persevered!

Breaking the Silence...

2010-02-12T10:01:00.002-06:00

I apologize for neglecting this poor blog by remaining silent for so long! So... I'll just briefly catch you up!

I'm now living in Denton with my aunt, uncle and cousins which has been such a blessing and joy! I've learned a lot about pop culture, reality tv shows, musicians, actors, classic films, fashion, and eggs! Also, this semester is my very last semester of graduate school... that's right... my very LAST semester!!!!! My practicum experience is in a lovely elementary school with a wonderful supervisor! Learning how to provide therapy for these children has been so much fun!

Presently, I'm enjoying a day off of classes and therapy due to the beautifully brilliant, white snow everywhere! Happy snow day!

Panera Bread, how I love you!

2009-10-31T15:46:00.002-06:00

Panera Bread is a cafe I've discovered in my one-and-a-half years of living in Dallas. I love it! It serves delicious soups, salads, and sandwiches, and offers a relaxing environment in the midst of the hectic city life. This wonderful place bakes delicious breads and desserts to satisfy any craving you may have. Plus, you can order your soup in a bread bowl at no extra cost! How cool is that!? A bottomless cup of coffee is inexpensive- and they have half-and-half and sugar to add to their flavors of coffee (today I'm enjoying a Hazelnut brew). I come here, find a quiet booth, and stay for hours at a time to study for my tests or write my papers or merely to enjoy their free wireless internet! Ahh... this place hits the spot!

No Sabbath = Sickness

2009-10-25T14:22:00.004-06:00

It's pretty clear from the scriptures and from observing nature that God intends for His people to Sabbath. Not only is Sabbath a command, but it is also our nature- its how we were created. We are to work 6 days and rest on the seventh. We need the rest! God created us to Sabbath every night (with sleep) and one day a week. Sabbath is not a cruel command- it's a gracious gift! But we so often refuse this gift because it doesn't fit into our schedules with our current lifestyle.

In my life, the times that I get sick are when I don't allot enough time for my body to rest (i.e. right now). I've been running around like crazy trying to complete all of my school assignments, working at the research lab at school, and interning at Parkland. I understand that this is only a season, but it's been an exhausting season that defies my nature- my need for Sabbath. So, here I am now, sick as a dog, getting little work or schoolwork done. When I don't give my body the Sabbath it desires and requires, my body rebels and demands that rest through illness.

Self-Evaluation

2009-10-18T19:06:00.002-05:00

Subjective: Pt sitting on couch c laptop. 0 family present. Pt alert & cooperative throughout tasks, however pt reports increased fatigue and lability. Pt blogging; however pt reports need to study & read for class.

Objective: Pt c 7/8 on delayed recall. Pt c 10/10 on moderately complex information processing c 3 visual cues. Pt c 9/10 on complex information processing c 5 visual cues. Pt c 3/3 on complex problem solving. Pt c 3/3 on story recall task. Pt writing at complex P level c 95% accuracy utilizing complex sentences. Pt c decreased initiation and motivation to prepare for classes. Pt c decreased attention to reading tasks. Pt requiring min verbal cueing to A in completion of assignments. Pt c + insight into deficits. Pt reports increased lethargy secondary to decreased amount of sleep.

Assessment: Pt p/w moderate senioritis complicated by mild-moderate sleep deprivation.

Plan:
1. Pt will sleep min of 8 hours/night for 7 days/week with 100% accuracy to improve cognitive performance and emotional lability and to decrease lethargy and fatigue.
2. Pt will verbally produce thanksgiving for 10 blessings/day regarding current situation (including school) with 80% accuracy to improve motivation and initiation.
3. Pt will attend to reading/writing tasks for 2 hours/day to ensure completion of assignments and increased accuracy on examinations.
4. Pt will complete blog post in <2 minutes to improve productivity for the rest of the evening.

(From Wikipedia: The main symptoms of senioritis include chronic procrastination, lack of motivation, a drop in academic performance, and "coasting," which is the act of going through classes with very little concentration or application of intent. This usually happens in the last year of middle school, high school, college or graduate school.)

A Lesson

2009-10-16T17:49:00.004-05:00

Tuesday. It's raining. I'm leaving Parkland to meet my sister and niece for lunch. I start my car (the Blumina). It hesitates. It jerks. It runs. Whew! I turn onto Inwood Road to join bumper-to-bumper traffic in a highly congested and miserable construction zone. My car jerks. It keeps running. Red light. Green light. Bummer. It dies. Did I mention that its raining? Did I mention that there's tons of traffic? Did I mention I'm in an intersection?

What's a girl to do? Restart it, I suppose. Its running...4...3...2...1...it dies. So, I restart it a couple of times until I'm as off to the side as one can be on a no-shoulder, high-traffic, under-construction intersection. Then, of course! Call Dad! What's the problem? Out of gas. (I know- that's a dumb problem that shouldn't have ever happened.) He advises me start my car again, coast for as long as possible, start my car again, coast as long as possible, make people angry on the road, and try to crawl to the gas station about .2 miles away. After a few honks, angry expressions, and a very slow crawl, I make it to the entry of the gas station. Problem: it's a pretty steep entry. By now my car is crawling for about 2 seconds with every key twist in the ignition. Hmm... but I try. Nope. Try again... YES????

All of a sudden two men ran towards my car in the steady rain and started pushing against my bumper. We made it about half way up and then the dear Blumina started rolling backwards. Then, two more men ran towards us and got behind the Blumina and pushed. After a couple of attempts we finally made it to the beautiful gas pump!

So, who were these gallant men to rescue this damsel in distress in the tempest? Their faces I knew well. I pass them almost everyday in that same intersection. They are the men who walk along the streets lined with cars asking for food, beverages, and money. They are the men who find shelter from the rain under that overpass.

Many times I have seen them, shared a smile, but hoped that they wouldn't come greet me at my car window. Many times I have driven past, thinking to myself "I'm working hard, really hard, in grad school trying to feed myself and keep a roof over my head. Surely they could improve their living situations with a little bit more effort." These were the faces of men I judged without knowing their life story... without knowing their name. The men who are poor, unclean, hungry, and thirsty, the men who have been rejected by me (and countless others) are the men who were willing to get their clothes wet and willing to help someone in need. How grateful I am to these men who are slower to pass judgment and quicker to lend a hand. And how humbled I am by their grace and generosity.

Parkland Peeps

2009-10-12T19:33:00.003-05:00

One of the primary reasons I wanted to intern at Parkland is because of the patients. This hospital provides services for the people who may not have insurance, who may not speak English, who may not have family or friends come to visit, and who may not always abide by the laws of this country. These are individuals who are desperate to see Christ manifested in patience, peace, love, joy, kindness, gentleness, and goodness. Although I definitely have plenty of room to grow in the fruit of the Spirit (that fact just continues to be confirmed every day), it's nice to see how much more brilliant your light is when you are surrounded by such darkness.

Every morning I am in for a surprise! Who knows?! I may be asked to work with an individual with a gunshot wound, a prisoner, a minister, a homeless person, an alcoholic, a drug dealer, a drug addict, or just a regular person... except I've only worked with one "regular" person. There have been occasions where I have been shown hostility and aggression (mostly, though, the agitation is secondary to the brain injury), but for the most part, the patients have been respectful and appreciative.

Hospitals can be a depressing setting, surrounded by illness, injury, and death, but there is so much opportunity to give hope and love to these hopeless and lonely people.

Ataxic Aphasia

2009-10-02T13:47:00.002-05:00

Parkland has been a difficult, yet wonderful, experience. Every day a new situation arises that requires quickness, efficiency, problem-solving, deductive reasoning, and common sense. These are all skills I believe myself to have (thank You, God, and thanks, Mom & Dad for the genes); however, my supervisor, unfortunately, has seen very little of these in her student intern.

Today, after completing an initial evaluation on a new patient, I was filling out the paperwork to write down how the patient performed during the assessment and to give an official diagnosis on this patient.

"Patient presents with mild/moderate ataxic aphasia complicated by...".

For those of you who don't know, "ataxic aphasia" doesn't exist. There is ataxic dysarthria and there is aphasia, but there is definitely not an ataxic aphasia. An equivalent misdiagnosis would be for a psychologist to diagnose an individual with "mental regurgitation" instead of mental retardation. This could also be compared to a a minister asking the congregation to turn to Hezekiah 3:12, a car salesperson trying to sell you a Honda Lumina, or a baker confusing the flour with salt.

So, just in case I was beginning to feel slightly competent and confident in my skills as speech therapist in the hospital setting, I was given yet another dose of humility... and good grief! These humility shots smart!

One of those mornings...

2009-09-29T19:22:00.003-05:00

This morning I awoke with a migraine. Great. Probably because I have two tests this week... two WRITTEN tests this week. But, I can't let a "measly" headache get in the way of my productivity- I have places to go, things to do, patients to see... I have work to do and lecture notes to study.

So, I got ready early this morning and left for Parkland. Traffic. Bad traffic. Actually, when I finally creeped my way to my exit, the road I was intending to take was closed. Too bad I didn't know that one mile/20 minutes ago! Needless to say... I was late. Drat.

Eventually, one-detour-after-another, I did make it to Parkland. But, I still didn't feel well. I managed to endure the throbbing pain and nausea throughout my first 3 hour-long therapy sessions with only a few temple rubs. However, during the last session the pain was growing more intense. I calmly excused myself from the therapy room in search of my supervisor to ask her to take over for me, but she had left the office to meet another patient, so I returned to my patient. After glancing at the clock and seeing that I only had 15 minutes left, I decided that surely I could finish this hour with my patient. Well, that wasn't the case. I continued teaching a word-finding strategy when I felt the urgent need to excuse myself from the room so I could vomit. And that is when my supervisor walked in...seeing me leaning over a trashcan. Oh bother.

It was just one of those mornings.

(I'm hoping for a better one tomorrow!)

two new little sisters!

2009-09-20T21:02:00.001-05:00

My favorite "roles" in life are related to family- I love being a daughter, a sister, and, now, an aunt! Living in Dallas, I have missed my family a great deal, and I have missed the "roles" I play within my family.
Two precious girls have been "adopted" into our church family, and I have thoroughly enjoyed playing the part of "big sister" again. These girls are not blessed with a wonderful Christian family with high standards and strong morals. They do not have an older sister who makes wise decisions worth emulating, so the home church ladies, including me, have adopted these lovely girls into our family! It has been eye-opening, and disheartening, to hear the everyday issues they deal with that are so foreign to me... at school they are bullied, threatened, sexually harassed, isolated, and mocked... at home they have few guidelines, low standards, harsh discipline, and a new phone number every 3 months. I cannot steal these girls and give them a new home with different and pleasurable experiences, but I can be a big sister to them and listen to them, serve them, love them, and speak truth over them. Pouring into these girls has been such a blessing to all of us! They are so easy to love!

slumber party!!

2009-09-14T19:33:00.003-05:00

The ladies in our home church held a fantabulous sleepover this weekend! From ages 10 to 60ish! We played hours of Charades, Name-This-Dance-Style, and Hide-the-M&M's, drank very dark coffee, ate very dark chocolate (and M&M's), and laughed and prayed and talked til the wee small hours of the morning! I had women about twice my age keep me up til 4 am! There has to be SOME playing in this gal's life to maintain sanity!

My dear sister

2009-09-07T19:53:00.004-05:00

As my wise mother predicted, my schedule has indeed led to burn-out. It's a holiday and yet I'm still thoroughly exhausted and dreading the days and weeks and months before me. So, in my dreary state, I headed over to my sister's house for some matte chai, chocolate cake, and a hug. My entire college career (with the exception of last year) my sister has been readily available to soothe my spirit with a warm cup of tea and her encouraging presence. She is the perfect medicine for a homesick heart and weary body. Ruby Grace has quickly learned the comforting ways of her loving mother with her contagious giggles and snuggly self. (Thank You, God, for nurse Amber!)

This semester may be the busiest yet...

2009-09-03T19:27:00.007-05:00

Let's do the math...

- If I sleep 8 hours a night for 7 days a week (56 hours)
- If I drive on average 1 hour and 45 minutes a day for 7 days a week (12.25 hours)
- If I spend 1 hour each morning to get ready every day of the week (7 hours)
- If I attend class each week (8 hours)
- If I intern at Parkland 4 hours a day for 5 days a week (20 hours)
- If I allot about 1 and 1/2 hours to eat every day of the week (10.5 hours)
- If I read the assigned readings for my classes each week (13 hours)
- If I work in the research lab each week (10-20 hours)
- If I attend church events each week (6 hours)
- If I have 45 minutes of "Caryn Time" each day for 7 days a week (5.25 hours)
- If I visit my sister, niece, and brother-in-law each week (5 hours)

...then I have an average of 158 hours of my week accounted for, which means... I have 10 hours each week to buy groceries, run to the bank, visit the library, play Settlers of Catan with my friends, sleep, blog, read, play the piano, clean, or go on a very short road-trip. Hmm.... it is a good thing I don't do all of the assigned readings and that my professor cancels class- I just gained 6 hours this week!

Ahh! Saturday mornings!

2009-08-29T08:56:00.003-05:00

- Sleeping until I wake up naturally- no alarm.
- Drinking coffee with cream in my favorite mug.
- Listening to Adventures in Odyssey.
- Eating Lucky Charms- carefully eating the cheerios and saving all of the marshmallows to be consumed last.
- Preparing for a fun day at a leisurely pace.
- Reading for pleasure.
- Slouching on the couch with my laptop- and enjoying an unknown neighbor's wireless Internet.
- Enjoying no pressing to-do list for these few hours of the day.

Ahh! I love it! (Although, I do thoroughly miss Saturday morning coffee at Happy and Papa's house in Abilene. That was always the highlight of the week!)

I am feeling whoozy!

2009-08-24T15:59:00.003-05:00

Many people (including myself-at one time) do not know the variety of clientele for whom speech-language pathologists (SLP) are consulted. A large number of individuals are only aware of the SLPs in the schools- oh, those pretty ladies who help children produce "r" and "s" in elementary school. We have fun, educational decor covering the walls and doors of our clean and orderly speech-therapy rooms. We give out stickers and candies to children who work especially hard at placing their tongues on the alveolar ridge of their mouths for a clear and accurate "l".

Well... that is not the SLP I am going to be this semester in the hospital. As I will be walking around in cute blue scrubs and providing exceptional therapy to patients, I will not be dealing solely with speech, language, and cognitive deficits. Nope. I have been assigned to the head/neck cancer rotation, which includes some pretty disturbing sites and several laryngectomies.

My first day at Parkland, I was given the opportunity to clean and replace a tracheoesophageal prosthesis (TEP). A TEP is inserted into the trachea and esophagus to allow an individual with no larynx to eat and breathe safely. This patient's TEP was leaking due to fungal colonization around and within this prosthesis allowing saliva, foods, and liquids to enter the lungs which puts the individual at risk for aspiration pneumonia. The SLP's role is to remove the TEP covered in yeast from the patient's neck, and place a new four-inch long tube into the man's neck. No blood, just secretions, yeast, and a patient's life at your finger tips.

So... I thought that I felt queezy from my professor's secretions flying out of his neck, but that was before I actually delved into a man's neck that had fungus growing inside. I was very proud of myself for the professional manner in which I observed and participated in this procedure... for the first 15 minutes. But then, I began to sweat and get dizzy, and a black shadow began creeping into my line of vision. Not wanting to faint on my first day and with my first patient, I sat down (that's what Dr. and nurse Brantly advised me to do if I found myself feeling this way). Eventually, I quietly left the room leaving my patient supervisor to complete the task alone. I recovered after a few minutes and resumed my place in improving the lives of my patients one tracheoesophageal prosthesis-at-a-time! This should be an interesting semester!

a new semester

2009-08-23T19:39:00.004-05:00

My fourth semester (of five) began this past Thursday. The next few months I will be learning about craniofacial disorders (cleft lip and palate), autism, and language development. Also, I have been assigned to Inpatient Acute Care Neurosurgery and Head/Neck Cancer at Parkland Memorial Hospital.

The first meeting of the craniofacial class was canceled (due to illness of the professor). The reputation of this professor leads me to believe that this is only the first of many "walks" for this semester (which has its pros and cons).

For the class discussing autism spectrum disorders there are two professors. The primary professor was unable to attend the first class (due to a family emergency, I think), so we were taught by her colleague who had a laryngectomy. A laryngectomy is a removal of the larynx; a hole is surgically created to provide a "safe" air passageway for respiration... and speaking. Laryngectomies, tracheotomies, and the-like have been frequently alluded to in my coursework; however, I had not yet witnessed a quarter-size, unveiled, stoma in a man's neck. Nor had I yet observed the unintentional projection of body fluids via a quarter-size, unveiled stoma in a man's neck... until my class on Friday. Despite my tremendous effort to not allow the projected booger-like substance to bother me, I did indeed get a little queezy. I just hope that this uneasiness in my stomach does not return tomorrow morning during my first shift in the hospital setting when more gruesome body fluids come flying my direction.

Summer Sunday

2009-08-16T22:28:00.002-05:00

My last Sunday of the summer break...
- church
- lunch with church friends
- nap
- swimming
- reading
- playing Catan
- figuring out how to get everything done that has to be done in the final three days of summer. Hmm... perhaps I should have had a more productive day today. My to-do list is slightly overwhelming.

Internet Binge

2009-08-04T16:23:00.002-05:00

We don't have internet. It's hard to be a student and survive without internet, but I've managed (but my blog has suffered- sorry). Yesterday as I sat on my couch, opened my laptop, and began working on a research assignment, my eyes glanced over to the bottom right hand corner of the screen... and what did my eyes stumble upon? Instead of four grey bars and a red X on the mini computer icon, there were three light yellow bars signifying an internet connection... low... but a connection none the less! I spent all day on the internet, looking up everything that I want and need to check into... email, library hours, location of Parkland, amazon, facebook, drive-in theater, AsoBrain, and everything else! My day was not too productive, but I definitely enjoyed the "high life" with internet! And, here I am again, sitting on my couch, open laptop, research project for work, and internet. Holla!

The Planner

2009-07-23T18:31:00.003-05:00

As an over-generalized stereotype, speech-language pathologists are intelligent, beautiful, put-together, organized, OCD, Type-A individuals. Sometimes I wonder if I'm a little too Type-B (relaxed, go-with-the-flow, laid back) to be a successful speech therapist. Tuesday night was confirmation that I DO have a sufficient amount of "ducks-all-in-a-row"/Type-A for this profession.

My planner... I live by it. Without it, I wouldn't know when anything is due, when I am meeting people, where my appointments will be located, who I am actually meeting, the birthdays of my friends and family, or if I'm going to be too busy to go swing dancing that week. This planner of mine is July 2008-July 2009 and contains both the weeks and the months for that year plus my entire life composed on each page. Well, as I mention before, it goes through July 2009... but that means that it ends in July 2009. I have already been scheduling events for August, but I've had no place to write these commitments down! (I've even over-committed an August day already- evidence that I need a planner.)

Tuesday evening I visited Target to finally find a replacement planner to ensure that my life, as we know it, will indeed continue. After this shopping spree (and spending 30 minutes to pick out the right planner for me), I returned to my apartment and immediately plopped on the couch to begin the transition from my old planner to my new one (July 2009-July 2010). Then, as I unfolded the new pages of my new planner and new life in this new year, I started hyperventilating. It didn't have the months.... the months! The two pages solely dedicated to presenting the whole month in one glance! They weren't there! How can anyone live without seeing how their month looks in one simple viewing!? I can't live like this! I MUST have the month, too!

Needless to say, I revisited Target first thing the next morning to find a more suitable planner to accommodate my needs. It contained weeks AND months. Yes. Because that is how a planner is intended to be used. With a small perspective AND a larger perspective.

Unfortunately, my entire Wednesday was jammed full of obligations which means that I didn't have a sufficient amount of time to dedicate to that special moment of opening this new planner/beginning my new year. I barely had the self-control to complete my day's tasks BEFORE opening and writing in my new planner. When I finally got home around 10pm, I, once again, plopped on the couch and began my new journey with my new planner. Ahh. Life feels good again!

(And, as a bonus, my new planner has lovely photographs of significant locations all over the world! One for each week!)

Ruby Grace- practically perfect in every way!

2009-07-11T14:21:00.005-05:00

My niece, Ruby Grace, is the most perfect, most beautiful, most intelligent, most content, most friendly, most athletic, and most likely to succeed in the world!

This is us on the 4th of July!

Beware of the refrigerator!!

2009-07-06T16:20:00.002-05:00

Sprouts is an indoor farmer's market with the best produce prices (except for Kroger's $.99 strawberries right now)! I love this place! When I enter, I go crazy and buy anything and everything that looks pretty or smells sweet. Last time I went to the beloved Sprouts was the first week in June (in the life of Caryn, I don't have the time to buy groceries- it's about a once-a-month venture- maybe twice if I'm really on top of things). Of course produce doesn't last an entire month- rasberries don't even last two days- so things started growing, rotting, and smelling terrible. I've been scared to open my refrigerator- who knows what may attack me in there?! But, last night, my roommate and I decided to be brave and daring, and we emptied the contents (including the icky things that were living there without an invitation). Conquered. The apartment is safe, once again, with no unwelcome inhabitants!

How are you?

2009-06-29T18:14:00.002-05:00

"Good... but tired."
"Exhausted."
"Fine... but sleepy."
"Tired... but otherwise just fine."
"Stressed."

I'm looking forward to the day when I can honestly respond to this simple greeting with a "Great!" or "Well rested and completely stress free!". Will that day ever come?

(Two and a half weeks until my summer classes are over!!)

Storms

2009-06-16T15:29:00.002-05:00

Growing up, as soon as the slightest hint of a storm arose, we turned on The Weather Channel and stepped onto the front porch to witness the exciting event! This week I have enjoyed and endured tremendous storms! Wednesday night, while I was at home church, a major (red and orange on the radar) came through north Dallas (where my church was meeting). The strong winds, heavy rain, and lack of electricity cued many in our group to take shelter in the bathroom for about an hour!

The rains kept coming all through Wednesday night and Thursday morning, enough to make the speed of the vehicles on the highway less than 10 mph. Alas, I was late to an orientation meeting for practicum. The clouds continued to pour out heavy water droplets which completely drenched me from head to toe on the 10 meter stretch from my parked car to the school building.

The storms seemed to have passed, and Friday morning, after dropping Mom and Dad off at the airport, I left for Mason to attend my dear friend's wedding. That night, the evening before the wedding, we watched with awe the lightning strike from afar. However, the sky above us swiftly changed from a lovely pink/purple glow to a dreadful grey shade. Sprinkles started to sputter on the windows. The rain quickly turned from light pitter-patters to clashes, clungs, and thwacks against the glass windows of the house... and the cars. The pleasant thrill of the storm began to dwindle when we heard the windows busting in the house with loud crashes. After that, each clang and skush caused us to flinch as we considered our cars which were enduring this calamity with no protection.

When the storm ceased, we picked up golf ball and lemon size hail from the ground and from the back seats of our cars. Five vehicles did not quite make it through the storm without having their windows give in to the pressure of the falling hail. Fortunately, my windows (or rather, Mom and Dad's since I drove their car) stood firm; however, a golfball-like-car with countless dents will be awaiting Mom and Dad's return to the States.

A Chronic Case of Hiccups

2009-06-05T22:02:00.001-05:00

Hic-cup. /hIkVp/: noun. small nuisance in life which interrupts the regular breathing pattern of one's typical daily schedule.

In my one year of living in Dallas, I have experienced many hiccups. Last semester went rather smoothly, so I was beginning to think that my diaphragm was contracting and relaxing at a normal pace with no unusual twitches. However, this summer semester, the speed of my respiratory cycle has been rapidly increasing with my excessive school/work load. In addition to my irregular breathing pattern, I had an unfortunate hiccup this week.

Upon finishing my class discussing cognitive rehab, I walked out to my car to see that the passenger window had been busted and the inside of my car was ransacked. My nifty GPS, CD player, CD's, digital camera, and purse had all been taken.

After crying from the initial shock and disappointment of this unfortunate event, I can now laugh at the absurdity of the situation. This poor thief is probably disappointed that the purse did not contain my wallet or anything valuable. The Bible on CDs, Ray van der Laan, and Chronicles of Narnia CDs will probably not be of any interest of his/hers nor will these bring in any significant profit. And the camera, which was dropped at Warwick castle in England four years ago, is held together by a hair rubber-band and is only considered valuable by me. It's a lose-lose situation and a very big bummer.

DONE!!!

2009-05-04T11:47:00.003-05:00

I'm officially finished with my second semester!!! Yea!!! This afternoon I'm escaping from the hustle-bustle of the big city to a secluded lake house in the beautiful area of east Texas. No internet, spotty cell phone coverage, chai tea, a hammock, and books (just for clarification- not textbooks).

Wrapping Up Another Semester!

2009-05-01T15:48:00.003-05:00

This week I had four finals/projects... and they're done! Last night I had a fabulous time swing dancing to celebrate! It was funny... all of the "follows" (girls) were from ACU except one who was from Harding. Dancing and laughing with fellow Christians is such an uplifting experience! The highlight of the evening was learning how to swivel in the lindy-hop. This Church-of-Christ gal needs step-by-step instructions on how to move her hips, but I think I finally got it!

Swine flu seems to be quite the epidemic, but presently, I'm more concerned with the Spring Fever I've caught! My semester is not yet over, but my summer has already started!

This weekend's agenda includes:
1. Finishing my last project
2. Playing Settlers of Catan
3. Going to an arts festival
4. Going to a musical
5. Packing for a trip to a lake house

Girls Night Out!

2009-04-25T17:21:00.006-05:00

Katy (my roommate) , Megan (my schoolmate), and me!

My two dear friends in Dallas and I decided to go on a mini adventure... we explored a hole-in-the-wall Greek restaurant in downtown Dallas! My first experience with Greek food was delightful and fun! The hummus and artichoke dip were delicious with the hot melt-in-your mouth pita bread! mmm! Except, I didn't care to much for some spinach dish- gross. The restaurant's ambiance included candlelit tables, waiters bringing in plates of fire and yelling "Opa", and a man playing songs on some string instrument (maybe a ukulele)! Afterwards, we took pictures... all-in-all, we had a good time!P.S. In case you can't tell by my sparse and unexciting blog posts- not a whole lot is going on in my life. It's mostly consumed with school, work, and practicum. Finals next week!

She Dreamed a Dream

2009-04-24T12:39:00.003-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

This is a video from Britain's Got Talent (the British version of American Idol). Susan Boyle is a middle-aged woman who has had a dream to be a professional singer. Despite people mocking her right-and-left, she's maintained the courage to pursue her dream. I love it! I love when dreams come true against all odds!

Proposals and the like...

2009-04-12T15:45:00.003-05:00

Providing therapy services for adults has been a learning experience... sometimes stressful and sometimes amusing! There is one elderly gentleman who is constantly commenting on my "beautiful red hair" and asking me to turn around so he can look at it once more. One day he even took off his cap, held it over his heart, and asked me to marry him. Fortunately my supervisor was there to provide a polite, yet professional, response on my behalf. A younger client I work with is constantly inviting me over to his house to "hang out" (which is obviously not permitted!). These little instances keep me smiling. However, this week my young client's uninhibited request made me laugh aloud in disgust and astonishment! After therapy I was talking with my supervisor when my young adult client approached us. My supervisor introduced him to the prospect of coming for therapy over the summer. With flat affect, he slowly processed the invitation. While moving his eyes up and down my body he asked, "Well, could I get a 'little something' on the side?". What?!! Who asks that?!? I chuckle and remind myself that a frontal lobe injury will lead a young male to say exactly what he's thinking in the most inappropriate time and setting.

I think I've figured it out!

2009-03-25T15:24:00.000-06:00

So, why is graduate school so difficult?

It’s not just because the standards are higher, or that I’m learning 20X as much information as I learned before. Nor is it just because I’ve left all of my dear friends and family to come to a huge city where I know so few people.

Every single day I’m confronted with my ignorance and my incompetence. Seven days a week I don’t have a clue how to do what is expected of me (which is why everything takes twice as long to complete). At the beginning of the semester, each student is placed in a clinical practicum where he/she has had absolutely no experience. We are forced to provide services to real human beings, but we are merely shooting in the dark. By the end of the semester we have gained enough confidence in our therapy that we don’t feel quite as inept, but then the semester is over and we begin a new experience where we are as ignorant and useless as before. It’s a wretched cycle. Being reminded of how incompetent you are is like a blow to the gut. And so why am I exhausted and weary all of the time? Because I’ve been punched everyday for two semesters! I asked God for humility… and boy howdy! He gave it!

Spring Break!

2009-03-21T16:35:00.003-06:00

Midterms were a doozy this semester, but they are over! To celebrate spring break, I went to visit Amber and Kent in Indianapolis! Whoop!

Two very great things happened while I was there...
1. Ruby Grace Brantly was born! My sister became a mother (I'm still trying to wrap my mind around that fact), and I became an aunt!
2. Kent found out where he, Amber, and Ruby will live the next four years for his residency program... Fort Worth!!!!

Life seems to have changed drastically in one year. Amber was single and living in California last spring break. Now she has a husband and a daughter. One year ago I was still in undergrad living in Abilene. It feels like such a distant memory.

What I like about Mom...

2009-03-01T15:09:00.002-06:00

I realize that this is a month late... but I didn't get to be in Abilene for Mom's birthday to participate in our wonderful family tradition of sharing what we like about the birthday person!
So... What I like about Mom is that she is my personal cheerleader! I love that I can call her when I'm in tears from the stresses of my studies or life, and she encourages me to trudge forward and excel. She is a huge support who encouraged her children's personal growth through kind words, deep insight, creative ideas, genuine love, and homemade goodies.

In my academic panics, I don't necessarily need to know exactly how to give a feeding evaluation, or perform a modified barium swallow, or diagnose a patient with severe Broca's aphasia with profound verbal apraxia and moderate Flaccid Dysarthria, (etc.) , I just need Mom to talk me through the practical steps of breathing deeply and making a glass of Rooibos Chai tea, and reassuring me that I CAN do this. Thanks, Mom, for being my cheerleader and encourager throughout my life! Love you bunches!

25 Random Things About Me

2009-02-08T15:02:00.002-06:00

A few of my friends have written 25 random things about themselves and posted the list on facebook. They asked me to write some things, too, and I figured I would share mine with you!

I want to be a ballerina. …but really.
I kill houseplants. I want so desperately to nourish them and help them reach their full potential… but they just die.
I want to be able to play the piano. I was given a beautiful piano last Christmas and have attempted to make music with it, but I eagerly await the day when the tune produced by my fingers is actually tolerable for the human ear.
I’m a grandma at heart. I love to sew, quilt, crochet, knit, cross-stitch, scrapbook, and play scrabble.
I’m obsessed with Settlers of Catan. It is the most ingenious game ever created- it’s brilliant!
I love racquetball and would play it everyday if time permitted.
Excel spreadsheets give me a thrill! I smile out of delight any time I get to open one! (Yes… I am a nerd)
A constant longing in my heart is to dance! I’ve started swing dancing this year and have enjoyed it a great deal, but my heart always leaps for joy anytime a waltz starts to play!
Another constant longing in my heart is for pizza! I could eat it every day! Mmm!
I pole vaulted in high school. I learned via the internet…I wasn’t too good- but I loved every minute of it!
I prefer listening to radio theaters or books on CDs over listening to music. This makes me feel more productive.
Baking is therapeutic to me.
I love simplicity.
Languages fascinate me, and I fully intend to be bilingual by age 25.
One of my favorite things that I did in undergrad was play Assassins! It was ever-so-much fun! But… I died.
I loved traveling in Europe, and I look forward to returning to that enchanting continent soon.
I am Anne of Green Gables.
My 10^th birthday party is one of my fondest memories! My friends and I dressed up in fancy dresses and wore antique hats as we drank tea (or chocolate milk) out of my mom’s china. The average age of my invited guests was about 60 years.
I like grammar. (But I never try to be grammatically correct when I journal or blog)
I don’t prefer to share information about myself unless someone asks a specific question. I enjoy answering questions.
I love water! I think it is so very delicious!
Iced tea came out my nose when I was in elementary school- I haven’t cared for it since.
I eat soup every day- I like it a lot!
Most chick-flicks annoy me, but I do have exceptions.
I love the outdoors! I love climbing trees, taking walks, hiking, biking, camping, canoing, and kayaking.

A Catch-Breath

2009-02-02T17:35:00.004-06:00

This semester has already been far more pleasant than the last (thank You, God), but that doesn't mean that it's been easy. I have a roommate, a place to live, and a great job! But I also have new classes, hundreds of pages to read, papers to write, projects to complete, tests to study for, and therapy sessions to prepare for (I know... I shouldn't end a phrase in a preposition- oh well). I'm truly exhausted, and yet so thankful to not have the hiccups this semester!

In the midst of my exhaustion, I had a great weekend with my mom, sister, grandma, aunts (and uncle), cousins, and friends! We played "Paper" all weekend, which means that we went to specialty paper stores and made artsy-crafty things while drinking coffee, laughing excessively, and enjoying the company of the people we love so dearly. This weekend was a "catch-breath", and I'm so thankful for it! Perhaps I can endure the rest of graduate school with "catch-breaths" like this one!

In case you're interested- A catch-breath is a tiny breath in the middle of a phrase or sentence which provides you with enough air to complete the thought without taking a full breath of air. This is a compensatory strategy speech-language pathologists teach to aid their clients who are unable to use their air more efficiently when they speak (often because of neurological or physical damage).

Independence

2009-01-09T12:36:00.002-06:00

We grow up aspiring to be independent. As toddlers we learn to walk by ourselves and feed ourselves. In a couple of years, we become able to retrieve our own glass from the tall cabinet and pour our own milk. Years later we will count down the days until we attain our driver's license which will allow us to travel anywhere all by ourselves. Then we graduate and move on to college, out from under our parents' roof. And once you've graduated from college- well... then you are really an adult- living by yourself, paying your own bills, driving your own car, and entering the work force- the "real world".

Many life lessons were learned this past semester. The biggest lesson was that independence is not a reflection of the lifestyle that God desires for His people. God created the Church because He knows we need the Church- we need relationship to survive this messy world in which we live. While reading Young's novel The Shack a few quotes regarding independence stuck out to me. "The world is broken because in Eden we abandoned a relationship with God to assert our own independence." That makes me wonder how much better the world would be if we decided to live in a community of relationship (with people and with our Creator) rather than in isolation. Later in the book, Jesus explains that "Being his follower is not trying to 'be like Jesus', it means for your independence to be killed."

Through the many trials I have faced while living "on my own", God has really forced me to become dependent on Him and on the Church. There is such beauty in living in relationship with God and with His followers. I am so very, very blessed to have a wonderful community of Christ followers to be dependent upon! They offer love and life in a world that desperately needs it, and they also offer a roof for me to live under for as long as I need it. Dependence is humbling, and thus difficult, but perhaps living in humility will lead to transformation.

The Latest News

2008-12-17T08:58:00.003-06:00

After many tears, sweat, and pain I have finally finished my first semester of graduate school. Whew! It's good to be done! Friday morning I woke up early to complete a treatment plan project- my last assignment/final of the semester. Upon writing the last sentence, a familiar horn blasted outside my apartment. My precious parents arrived at the scene to help me pack up all of my belongings/junk and move me out of my beautiful apartment. (They had moved a portion of Grandmother's belongings/mega-junk Thursday evening and Friday morning, and they continued to move her Saturday- they're champs!) On our venture back to Abilene, my eye started hurting- I figured my contact was irritated from the intense week of little sleep. The next day, however, the pain exponentially increased (enough to convince me to go to the doctor- which is significant). Eye infection. And yet another hiccup. So, my present state: one semester down- (four more to go), homeless (living with my parents with my stuff in the garage and my car and sharing a twin bed with my little sister for a month), half blind, Queen of Catan, and ready to play racquetball.

October

2008-10-28T08:46:00.005-06:00

October has been a month of 30-hour work weeks and midterms; thus, no blog posts until now. Sorry.

But, throughout this month I felt the desire to write blog posts concerning:

1. Saturday morning coffee. When I found myself awake studying at 6am on Saturday morning, a huge yearning was growing in my stomach and heart for our special coffee time in Happy's and Papa's dining room as we discuss the random topic for the day and drink "Taste of Abilene" coffee with the birds and squirrels seeking their breakfast through the large window behind our seats.

2. My finger (and yet another hiccup this semester!). When Dad and Kevin came over for Keith's football game in Fort Worth, we played catch and... well... I caught the football "like a girl" (according to my Dad) and it landed perpendicular to the length of my finger causing either a very serious jam or, perhaps, a fracture. It's been over three weeks since the football attacked me, and my finger remains quite tender and has not regained full range of motion. This has contributed to the neglect of my lovely piano and swing dancing this past month.

3. My home church. Through a fellow ACU alumnus and friend at UTD, I have found an amazing group of people who truly love God and are seeking to be Christ's disciples. From my very first meeting with them, they have not allowed a day to pass without sending a prayer my direction. Through the stress of this semester, these exceptional people have been a true family to me and a huge support. (Thanks, God, for giving us Church)

Hiccups and Warm Fuzzies

2008-09-27T21:57:00.002-05:00

Breathe in.

Breath out.

(The breathing exercise is more for my benefit than for yours!)

Life isn't always smooth sailing... and my life has had a few strong winds since I started graduate school a month ago. My loans were sent to the wrong school... I was dropped from the university... my roommate is moving out... I need a roommate in two days... a friend of mine treated me poorly... my job is scheduling me too many hours... transcript issues... etc. etc. etc. A friend of mine humorously labeled events such as these as "hiccups". And with life being as busy as mine is, I just don't have time to deal with these "hiccups".

However, like in Psalm 23, God has given me some tufts of green pastures to get through each day. I have discovered an amazing church filled with people who wholeheartedly strive to be disciples of Jesus and who pray for me daily. Two old men (retired dance instructors) have been teaching me so many new dance moves- they said that I am such a "great prospect" and have so much "potential"! A grandfather of one of my clients observed my therapy session and was very complimentary! My brother came to visit me and take me to a couple of great museums in Dallas! A very dear friend of mine has honored me to be her maid of honor. These things just make me smile and make my heart happy. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside amidst the cold, harsh wind.

I am currently accepting any roommate suggestions/living options and any prayers you'd like to throw my way!

One-Tripper

2008-09-18T08:42:00.002-05:00

There are some people in this world who have the patience and time to take several trips to-and-from their car after they go to the grocery store. I am not one of these people. I am a one-tripper. However, I have decided that this is ridiculous! Yesterday I found myself carrying my bookbag (with my laptop, two notebooks, five spirals, and a huge textbook), my purse, my waterbottle, a new houseplant, and 12 grocery bags full of food to my apartment door from my car. This was an exhausting five feet walk, and when I got to my apartment, I couldn't raise my arm high enough to unlock my door. It is so sad that I am so lazy (or so busy) that I can't allow myself to take 2, 3, or even 4 trips. And today my arms are sore... hmm. Perhaps it is time to rethink my life a little bit.

My New School

2008-09-05T01:03:00.002-05:00

School has started! It has shocked me how much higher the professors' expectations are in graduate school than in undergrad. Looking around the classroom at my fellow speech-language pathology (SLP) graduate students has also fascinated me. I am not the only beautiful, intelligent, responsible, straight-A student in the class- I'm just one of 80. We all graduated with honors, we all would cry if we made a C, we all have our daily planners filled, and we all have our notes color-coordinated.

In order to be considered competent as an SLP, I must complete at least 400 hours of clinical practicum throughout the next two years of school. This semester I am working with one and two-year-olds who are considered "language-delayed" but who have no other developmental delays. This practicum is basically a language-rich preschool where we strive to increase the children's expressive vocabularies through different activities, fun literature, and lots of repetition. I even get to wear a cool lab coat! I feel like God has really prepared me for this experience- it's nearly exactly what I did last year with my special needs children! Wednesday was our first day, and hopefully it is not foreshadowing how the rest of the semester will be. Out of three kids, two of them wailed the entire time, and one of them vomited. Yuck. It was still enjoyable, and I think I'll really love it!

Farewell to Freedom

2008-08-14T22:57:00.002-05:00

Reality has hit. My days of freedom and fun are ending. School starts in exactly one week! Yikes! Today I went up to Richardson to the University of Texas at Dallas campus to buy a parking permit, get a student ID, and discuss racquetball opportunities with the recreational sports office. My schedule is set: clinical practicum in the morning, classes in the afternoon, work in the evening and on the weekends, and studying and fun squeezed in there somewhere. Although this dramatic change in my lifestyle seems like it could be a bit overwhelming, I am very excited about starting classes, learning information most people don't care to know, working with preschoolers, and making new friends. In the meantime, though, I will enjoy reading for pleasure, quilting, playing piano, feeding turtles and ducks, riding bikes, dancing, and playing Settlers of Catan. Wow! Just one more week left of my amazingly fun summer!

Just in case your curiosity was peaked by my previous mention of racquetball, I am hoping to have enough time to commit to the Racquetball Club at UTD. This is a competitive club (kind of intimidating) that is funded by the university (to provide uniforms and travel expenses) that will give me the opportunity to improve my mad-racquetball skills, meet some good players, relieve stress, stay fit-and-trim, and compete with other university teams. My racquetball buddies live in Abilene and I have barely endured this summer without them and this incredibly awesome sport- these are dire times that call for desperate measures- like joining the Racquetball Club while taking 14 hours in graduate school, doing clinical practicum, and working at least 20 hours per week!

A New Job and a Road Trip

2008-08-01T10:09:00.002-05:00

Immediately after my week full of fun and games I was offered a job at Bath & Body Works which drastically altered my lifestyle! No longer do my days consist of reading good books, playing the piano, feeding the turtles, and beating people in Catan; instead I am a grown, working woman in the "real world". *sigh* Alas, it has been a great experience thus far, and I believe it is a wonderful opportunity for me to be Jesus. This three-hour-drive east has placed me in a community that is desperate for the peace and joy that God has given me to share with whomever I encounter.

On another note... I went to see Amber Joy (and Kent Brantly, of course) in Indianapolis with my family last week! The luscious green landscape of their abode was a perfect greeting for five exhausted and squooshed people who had been on the road for 15 hours. Amber, I absolutely love your place! (How do you always get the greatest living conditions?) We enjoyed "shower-ing" with the well-respected and deeply loved Brantly clan and their church family, and seeing where Amber and Kent work and go to school. I suffered through a terrible beating in PIXAR/Disney Monopoly on account of my new brother-in-law. But, no worries, I am still the Queen of Catan! It was wonderful to see my dear sister so happy in her new home with her new family.

Just for the record, your life is not complete unless you have gone on a road trip with the Carroll family! It is always crowded, and the car just seems to shrink as the time passes. We listen to Adventures in Odyssey, Radio Theaters, Michael W. Smith's "Freedom", Latin- yes, we learned Latin on the way to Indiana (amo, amas, amat, amamos, amatis, amant), grammar (this one was rough), and other random music while we color, read, sew, sleep, and sprawl our legs in search of a more comfortable position. And when we stop, we look like a bunch of clowns filing out of the clown car. Great times! I love my family- thank You, God!

A Week of Play!

2008-07-14T14:53:00.003-05:00

I love my life! All I do is play, play, play! This past week two of my friends who were counselors at LCCC came to visit me and our other mutual friend. The four of us ran around Six Flags and enjoyed every ride twice because there were no queues. Actually, I had not been to Six Flags since I was in the single-digit years of my life, so I was a bit nervous at first! My uneasiness quickly disappeared as I discovered that I REALLY like roller coasters! Who knew!? That evening we played Settlers of Catan (the complicated Cities and Knights expanded version) until about two in the morning!

Everyone awoke from the exhausting slumber party at 10am to enjoy breakfast over another game of Catan! They taught me how to play 42 that evening, which, by the way, is a great game! 42 was the "adult game" every year at Hunt, so I felt very grown-up to be playing this game. We, then, of course played Catan and fell asleep around 2:00am.

Waking up the next morning was a little bit more difficult, but we managed! We celebrated our friend's birthday in downtown Fort Worth, with dinner, a live band, and a wee bit of dancing. Then we returned to my lovely apartment for more Cities and Knights of Catan and a movie. The birthday celebration ended at 6:00 the next morning- yikes! Six hours later we began our final day. Within the hour, all of my friends had abandoned the Carroll Hotel and were off to get back to the real world.

How grateful I am that this "real world" has not yet become my world. I love my life!

"Look! I'm dancing!"

2008-07-02T22:17:00.003-05:00

As quickly as my ears hear the sound of music my body longs to dance, and my heart wishes that it actually could! After years of dreaming that I could dance, I finally did! Last night a couple of friends and I enjoyed an evening of fun at a dance club. I was given a 30 minute crash course on Swing Dancing and then boldly stepped onto the dance floor! The crunching of my partners' toes, the embarrassed laughter, and the apologetic expressions made it quite evident that this was my first time swing dancing, but I anticipate mastering these dance moves through many more visits to the dance floor! The evening ended with a waltz around the room, and of course, I knew how to waltz! Barbara Streisand taught me in her movie "Hello, Dolly!" This particular movie, by the way, played a huge role in PIXAR's newest movie, Wall-E, which made me very happy!

LCCC

2008-07-01T13:28:00.002-05:00

This past week was spent at Lake Cisco Christian Camp (the Cisco Senior session) with a hundred exciting teenagers and 40ish outstanding adults! Each day consisted of eating, singing, volleyball, softball, dirt, sun, bugs, and more eating and singing. After the campers were settled in their "cozy" cabins, some of the counselors would enjoy fellowship over chunks of brownies and glasses of milk (this time together was always a highlight of my day). I am thankful for this opportunity to serve and have fun with fellow Christians, and I am so grateful for the friends I now have because of this great week at camp!

2008-06-10T09:33:00.004-05:00

This is my roommate Katie
This is my apartment

These are the turtles who so graciously welcomed me to my new home! This is part of the lovely 10-mile path behind my apartment
This is my Anne of Green Gables Bridge

A Week in My New Home

2008-06-09T18:56:00.002-05:00

Nearly an entire week has passed since I moved to Irving! My time has been spent getting settled into my lovely apartment, reading, sewing, playing my piano, talking with my roommate, and playing with my few friends who live in this area! It has been relaxing and rejuvenating after four hectic years in undergrad.

My favorite feature of my new apartment is a long trail that runs along a creek. It is right behind my apartment and goes through the nice neighborhoods surrounding me. This evening after a short stroll, I stopped on the wooden bridge (which reminds me of the bridge on Anne of Green Gables) and found myself being greeted by eight turtles in the water just below me! Although it would be considered an insignificant sight to most people, it was a small gift from God that brought me pleasure!

So much evil

2008-05-30T23:12:00.000-05:00

Hotel Rwanda was the family movie the Carroll's watched tonight. So much hatred, so much violence, so much injustice. It is such a powerful movie, but what do you do with this message? I am the American mentioned in the movie that sees the terror and cruelty on the news and continues to eat my dinner. What can be done?

There is evil, pain, and suffering in Abilene, too.

Alicia is a victim of evil. Her mother did drugs while she was pregnant with this now four-year-old child. She barely walks, her bones are as brittle as egg shells, she has very limited language, and she is exceedingly unstable emotionally. She also has a precious smile that melts my heart. She can say the word "book" and "sheep", and sometimes "cat". Alicia plays peek-a-boo and gives slobbery kisses, and when she hugs, she leaves some snot on you.

Joey is yet another human child who has seen far too much evil in his life. There is no father around, and his mother gave him and his siblings to her mom. The grandmother is exhausted and passes her babies from one person to the next. His expressive vocabulary consists mostly of curse words and "shut up". The latter I hear about 10 times each hour. This young boy attempts to steal something from the classroom each day, and he wears a smug smile when he thinks he will succeed in the theft. He bullies those who are weaker on the playground. Everywhere we go, he waves his hand to every passerby and says, "hi, Joey" as they ignore his effort to be noticed.

Adrianna's life was stolen from her when her mother beat her with the force that would injure an adult when she was only seven weeks old. She is now deaf and blind and functions at a 0-12 month level. This three-year-old baby barely walks, does not respond to touch (or visuals or sounds), does not even goo and coo, and is still bottle-fed.

These are only three of my eleven "students" whom I worked with everyday this semester. They are all so dear. They have made me cry on numerous occasions- they break my heart. Evil and hatred are so evident in the stories of my children as they were in the film we just viewed. Their lives are hopeless, and I am helpless. I can love and I can pray, but I want to do so much more.

Bitter Sweet

2008-05-13T20:09:00.003-05:00

The End.

The undergraduate/college chapter in my life is over. No more papers, no more mandatory reading, no more projects, no more journal articles, no more clinical practicum... until August 21 when my classes begin at the University of Texas at Dallas. Finishing college is so refreshing. (sigh) Ahh!

However, this graduation reminds me of a batch of cookies Keith's friends brought over. They looked so delicious with pink icing and sprinkles- mmm sugar cookies! After we took a bite, our faces surely showed our disgust- I think the precious girls baked these cookies with more salt than sugar! It was definitely an unpleasant surprise.

One "minor" detail I failed to consider while celebrating my last few weeks of classes was the fact that my friends are all flying away to have their own adventures. My great community of friends is splitting apart, and the likelihood that we will reunite seems too slight to nurture a mere hope. My dear, good friends will remain a part of my life (that's the plan), but, our relationships will be maintained through phone calls and facebook- we won't live in a two mile radius of one another and be able to walk to the other's house for dinner or tea. Weird. And the relationships with people that I care for and run into on campus, but don't deeply know, will probably be completely dropped.

One of the main reasons I chose to attend ACU was to build a community of friends that will endure throughout my life. I knew from the beginning of my Freshman year that my friends' paths and mine would part, but this parting kind of snuck up on me. I was consumed by the "sweet" anticipation of graduation and neglected the "bitter" reality. And now, although I'm thrilled to be an ACU alumnus, the bitter part of graduation has left an unpleasant taste in my mouth.

Roommate

2008-05-03T19:49:00.003-05:00

My pleasant afternoon was interrupted by a disappointing phone call yesterday. A wonderful girl, and my potential roommate in Dallas, informed me that we would not be able to room together. The news was disheartening, and the hope of finding a new roommate was dim.

Today I left our Saturday morning coffee to attend a waffle breakfast with some friends. Katie was among the 40-or-so college students there. We became acquainted with each other while we were still in high school and volunteered at Big Brothers/ Big Sisters, and she was also my neighbor in Gardner Hall. After short discussion, we realized that we were both moving to Dallas and in need of a roommate. The Callier Center, which is where my classes and clinical practicum will take place, is actually on the campus which Katie will be attending. She had just put a down payment for a one bedroom apartment, but upon finding me, she called the apartment complex and discovered that a two bedroom apartment was available.

I must admit, I had my doubts that I would be able to find a roommate in the short amount of time before I leave for the big city. God definitely helped me out with this uncomfortable matter. He provided a good, studious girl and a first-floor apartment (for my piano) within twenty-four hours! I am overwhelmed by God's goodness in this situation!

7

2008-04-18T07:35:00.005-05:00

Is seven really a number that represents goodness or perfection? Next week I have 7 papers due. That's right. SEVEN.
You may ask: "Have you started any of them?" To which I will reply, "Of course not."
"Why haven't you started writing these papers yet?" "Because I'm an idiot."
"How long have you known about these papers, Caryn?" "I've known about six of them the entire semester."
"So, why are you wasting time writing a blog post?" "I have no idea."

Score!

2008-04-16T06:49:00.002-05:00

Tuesday afternoon is the highlight of each week- Shannon and I play racquetball together! We talk, laugh, sweat, and hit the ball really hard in a small, closed-in, rectangular box. Yesterday two guys (who traveled in Oxford with me) saw that we were playing and asked to play doubles with us. Of course we accepted the challenge, for it is always good to have new blood on the court. After more sweat, more laughter, and more really hard hits, well, (at the risk of gloating a bit) we beat them! Shannon and I were ecstatic to be victorious over these two athletic boys! An opportunity for these guys to redeem themselves was necessary, so we played once more, and, once more, we won! Score!

*It probably should be noted that these guys aren't expert racquetball players, so it shouldn't thrill me as much as it does!

Conquered!

2008-04-14T06:32:00.003-05:00

This weekend I stood on the highest point in all of Texas! Three friends and I traveled to Guadalupe Mountains National Park to climb Guadalupe Peak. We arrived at the park around 10:00pm Friday night, and we set up our tents in the dark.

After surviving the blustery night, we made oatmeal and started the hike UP the mountain. Unfortunately, we had to bring our own water because this mountain is in the dessert (and water weighs 8 pounds/gallon). It was perfectly exhausting- not so hard to be discouraging and hopeless, but difficult enough (with thirty pounds on our backs) to be a challenge. Hiking UP about three miles made us glad to finally find our campsite. We pitched our tents and made a delicious meal of rice, veggies, and chicken! Snuggled in our sleeping bags in our small tent, we played Go Fish (and I lost miserably) and drank hot chocolate. Saturday night was freezing- but with three girls in a cozy two-person tent, our body heat aided in our fight against the cold.

We arose Sunday morning and started our summit hike. It was exciting to reach the top and realize that we were higher than anyone else in the whole state of Texas. We could see miles and miles of land around us. The view was lovely, but not quite like the scenery in Colorado or California. The hike down flew by, and my knees were thrilled to find the pavement at the base of the mountain.

The entire hike I was fascinated at how God made our bodies! It is incredible how our eyes can take in so much information at just a glance, and how our brains can keep our feet moving quickly and prevent painful stumbles. Whew!

Caryn Carroll has a very bad temper. Caryn Carroll has a very bad temper. Caryn Ca...

2008-03-31T15:08:00.004-06:00

Parking on-campus costs $75.00; parking is limited and rarely available for those who live off-campus. Parking off-campus (or on the street right next to campus) costs nothing, or so I thought. I chose the latter- it's cheaper! Parking on the street actually cost me several quarters to refill my tires that had been deflated by a ridiculously absurd neighbor. The next time I parked on the street a note was left on my windshield saying, "STOP parking here. Next time your tires will be slashed". Slightly intimidated by the note, I started parking in the half-empty (some might say half-full) parking lot of Smith/Adams for my 5:00am-9:00am shift working at the Smadams desk on Monday and Friday mornings. The police never, ever, ever appear at the forgotten off-campus residence hall, and I only park there illegally from 8:00-9:00am, so I figured that this was a good solution that will prevent me from having to pay for four new tires.

Well, as of this morning, my off-campus parking has cost me $15 (plus the previously mentioned quarters) because a student worker for the ACU police department (traitor) thought it was necessary to give me a parking ticket. I was walking out to my truck while she was writing it and I thought about jumping in my truck and quickly driving off. I didn't. She handed me the ticket while I asked her in a very stern and angry voice, "Is this really necessary?" I drove off ticked off and wearing a "kill everyone" expression on my face with my eyebrow cocked, lips pursed, and eyes saying "if you merely look at me, I'll punch you in the face".

So, my parking options for the rest of the semester are to
1. pay for a parking permit- absurd
2. continue to park in Smadams parking lot since it will probably be neglected by the police for the rest of the semester- possibly
3. park across the street and get my tires slashed- maybe not
4. park further down the street and walk next to the dwelling place of a sex offender at 5:00 in the morning- probably
5. walk a mile to work at 5:00 in the morning (still passing the sex offender's house)- nope

California Highlights!

2008-03-24T20:10:00.004-06:00

Holidays are so great! Mom, Happy, Kelli, and I spent Spring Break in California to visit mi hermana Amber Joy! The scenery was lovely- bright green hills, white blossom trees, sun reflections in the blue ocean! We walked up and down and up and down and up and down the hills of San Francisco to see the Fisherman's Wharf and the sea lions basking in the sun. Sea lions sure are funny looking- God is definitely creative! We indulged in delicious chocolate sundaes from Ghirardelli Square, danced with the ballerinas and ballroom dancers in the art galleries, wandered through the gorgeous redwood forest, sailed past the sharks to Alcatraz prison, climbed and conquered Mount Diablo, strolled through the Japanese Tea Garden (four times), tasted expensive red wine in Napa Valley, and settled on the island of Catan every evening! Thanks, Amber, for all of these lovely adventures!

home again, home again, jiggidy jig!

2008-03-03T06:04:00.003-06:00

Friday the Southern Hills Bible Bowl group and the ACU Ultimate Frisbee team left for Albuquerque, NM for a weekend in the "diamond in the dessert". Bible Bowl went well; we have some diligent students of the Bible. The Ultimate tournament went well, also, but we got "second place" several times!

I rode with the Ultimate Frisbee team (and a few stragglers) there and back again- it was exciting! Last night we drove through a snow storm, rain storm, wind storm, dust storm, hail storm, tornado watch, and grass fire until we finally arrived in Abilene at 12:30am. It's amazing that we made it home safely! (Thanks, God!)

Signing again!

2008-02-29T07:07:00.002-06:00

For about a month, now, I have been working at Woodson Elementary with the PCDD program (I'm not sure, but I think that it stands for Preschool Children with Developmental Delays). This job plopped in my lap! I randomly ran into a man from church who invited me to a Kiwani's Club luncheon. During the meal, the man sitting next to me asked me a few questions, and then he asked me if I wanted a job. So, here I am! Working with precious preschoolers with special needs.

This job has definitely been eye-opening. Many of these children are neglected or abused. They are so desperate for attention! Behavior is a constant issue, because not only are the kids mistreated at home, but they have (practically) zero expressive language. Hearing a grunt that slightly resembles a word is a huge feat. Because most of our children are not vocal, I am able to dust-off my sign language skills to communicate with them. It is amazing how effective signing is. I'm enjoying this opportunity to use my gift of sign!

TSHA Convention

2008-02-25T16:20:00.003-06:00

After picking Jon up from the airport with my parents on Wednesday (welcome home, Jon!), I left Thursday morning to go to San Antonio for the Texas Speech-Language Hearing Association convention. Along with twenty-five other ACU students, I roamed a massive room full of booths giving away free candy, pens (and other cool toys) and attended lectures on phonological disorders, apraxia of speech, etc. This is a great opportunity for me, as a student, to see numerous possibilities for my future career as a speech-language pathologist, make connections, find scholarship programs, and get a lifetime supply of pens.Saturday, after the convention ended and after I grabbed a second or third pen from every booth, two girls and I decided to check out the Alamo. The last time I visited this historical building I thought it was massive- that's how long ago it was since I had seen the Alamo! By coincidence, we decided to go to the Alamo on February 23, which is the date that the siege started in 1836! There were people all dressed up, gun shots, and a reenactment! These two precious girls were who I stayed with, rode with, ate with, and spent the majority of my time with over this long weekend.

"We'll Be Winners Forever!"

2008-02-19T17:25:00.003-06:00

Sing Song was fun, but I'm glad that it's done. In case you didn't go see our wonderful act, or if you just want to see the Senior Class talent once more, here is the youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/v/9UELAOlRSic. We won!

Also, here are a couple of pictures with me and papa and my Harry Potter glasses!

California! Here we come!

2008-02-13T08:33:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I bought tickets to San Francisco, California! Mom, Happy, Kelli, and I are traveling west to visit my dear sister for Spring Break! It's official! Yea!

A Nice Weekend

2008-02-10T20:21:00.000-06:00

This past week was the worst that I've had this semester, but Friday morning was the beginning of a fun weekend! At 8:45am an adult lady (and new friend) came to visit me at Smith/Adams desk to deliver homemade curry (for my lunch), lemon bunt cake (for dessert), and an encouraging card. The whole ordeal lifted my spirits!

Friday night I finished the LOST marathon of season three with some friends and lasagna. yum! I wonder who's funeral it was? Why does Jack want to go back? Did our hobbit friend really drown? What has the "heavy-eyeliner hostile" been doing on the island all of this time, and why has he not grown older? Whose boat is coming in 18 hours? When will Kate simmer down with the boys? When will Juliet, Ben, and Locke die? - I don't like them. What's the deal with the feared and mysterious Jacob? How come the pirate always resurrects? How many more seasons are there? Goodness.

Saturday included an enjoyable time with the family and lots of coffee, a debriefing of the Private I's crime investigation, tea and Ultimate Frisbee with friends, Moody Weekend Sing Song practice, Guitar Hero, and Cities and Knights Catan.

Today was Mom's birthday, and in her honor, our Bible class had a pot-luck. The fam had a low-key, but love-filled, birthday party. Then we had Bible Bowl practice, during which there was an exciting distraction! The house right next to Southern Hills was burning! The kids went crazy at the sight of flames and smoke through the window at such a close distance! We ate snacks and watched a great show of firemen coming to the rescue, youth and children ministers running and moving the buses, and fire and smoke filling the sky! And now, I am reclining on a couch, playing Catan, and snuggled in a warm blanket with cozy slippers. All in all, it has been a nice weekend.

My lovely quilt, Happy, and me!

2008-02-06T08:05:00.000-06:00

That's right- I'm in Sing Song!

2008-02-06T07:59:00.000-06:00

So, I'm doing Sing Song this year for the first time. Our class act is funny- so you should come. Not only should you come see me perform in Sing Song, but you should come on Thursday or Friday (not Saturday) so that you can vote for the senior class!

Play, play, play!

2008-01-29T09:41:00.000-06:00

This semester has been such fun! I have so much free time to play the piano, pleasure read, play Settlers of Catan, play Spades, journal, play racquetball! After last night's class let out early, a thought came to me while I was playing Catan (on the internet) and eating deer jerky- "Can life get any better than this? I submit that it cannot!"

My applications for graduate schools are occupying some of my time (but not too much). My application for University of Colorado at Boulder has been submitted, ACU's application will shortly follow, and then University of Texas at Dallas. It will be exciting to hear results so I can get ready for the next chapter in my life. In the meantime, I'll just enjoy playing my lovely piano, Catan, and racquetball.

should I be worried?

2008-01-23T07:03:00.000-06:00

In class yesterday I learned a little about Aphasia... and I was shocked to be able to relate so well with the symptoms! One indicator is that you hesitate before answering a simple question.

Like the countless times that I hesitate and have to think about what my major is, or how old I am before responding to such basic questions. "What's your name?" "uh... what's my name?... oh! Caryn."

Another symptom of Aphasia is that you dramatically overreact emotionally to the stimulus through excessive laughter or tears.

Like the time when I went to get my oil changed and cried intensely because I went to the wrong building.

Or the time when my professor made a dorky comment in class and I laughed audibly for thirty minutes.

Or the time when I set off the fire alarm in Smith/Adams and started bawling at the thought of inconveniencing the firemen. Actually, the fire alarm malfunctioned- I was innocent!

hmm... should I be worried?

The holiday is over...

2008-01-22T15:41:00.000-06:00

... so today I had to get out from under my five blankets to get ready for class in my frigid apartment. My truck is an icebox on wheels in freezing weather. Because my vehicle's defrost feature is a little lacking, I not only had to scrape the ice off of my windshield when I first left for school, but I had to pull over and scrape the newly acquired ice off after driving 1/2 a mile (which is half the distance from my apartment to campus). I offered someone a ride, and then thought, why in the world would someone want a ride when I'm driving with only a small circle (with about a 6 inch diameter) to see through, the windows are rolled down (for vision purposes), and the temperature in my truck is 10 degrees colder than the temperature outside?

Just in case you were wondering... my holiday was great! I had to work at 5:00am, but then I made cookies (which warmed up my apartment and my soul), practiced my piano, played Catan, did homework, prepared for my lesson at Kenley, watched Jonah (the Veggie Tales movie), and juggled. It was a nice, relaxing holiday, and boy, do I love holidays!

I Think I Can

2008-01-14T05:22:00.000-06:00

A new semester is beginning... and it's my last one in undergrad! Last night I couldn't sleep; perhaps it was my nerves. Today and tomorrow I will be completely overwhelmed by the assignments in the syllabi, but I'll also be excited. I feel like the little engine that could- I think I can, I think I can, I think I can make it through this last semester. The spring semester lacks enthusiasm simply because all of the school supplies have already been purchased for the year. I love buying school supplies!

A Truly Productive Week!

2008-01-12T12:36:00.000-06:00

This was my last week before my last semester in my ungraduate college career, and it was quite eventful! I was so busy, that I was unable to blog until now! On Sunday, Dad hired me to sell his books online and I have already sold seven books and made $100! Monday I started my biggest project... a quilt! All of my life I have had a desire to quilt, and my amazing grandmother (Happy) has helped me fulfill this goal! We worked hours upon hours this week to creat a gorgeous pink, red, lilac, and cream Valentine quilt! It's absolutely lovely! Thanks Happy for all of your work and patience in teaching me to do this fabulous hobby of yours (and mine now)! The top is completed (stay tuned for a picture), so now we need to make it fluffy and put a back on it! Thursday I got a job... a real job... as a real speech therapist!! Kenley has hired me as a substitute speech-language pathologist to work a couple of days a week with their learning disabled students. Woohoo! It will be a great opportunity for this very inexperienced senior studying Speech-language Pathology. Friday my Dad and I bought parts for my new car (Amber's wrecked one from the deer). Today, with the help of my burly father and buff brothers (Kevin and Geoff), I will become an owner of an upright piano from the turn of the century! Wowee! My apartment neighbors may not appreciate this new piece of furniture... or... maybe they'll enjoy having such an accomplished and talented (ha ha!) musician living near them. The truth is, I have short and stubby fingers that can dink out a tune as well as a duck could with its webbed feet! Perhaps all of the typing I've done in college has made my fingers stronger and more flexible! :)

My Hair is So Big

2008-01-06T13:51:00.000-06:00

While getting ready for church this morning, I was inspired to write a song. For those of you with "Spann-hair"... this song is for you!

My Hair is So Big (to the tune of "My God is So Big")

My hair is so big,
So thick, and so wiry,
But there's nothing my Chi cannot do! (clap clap)

A Redeemed Babysitter

2008-01-05T11:25:00.000-06:00

Last week I babysat for a precious family while the parents went to see a movie. Throughout the evening my nagging headache of two days compounded resulting in nausea. After the children went to bed, the aches in my head and stomach collaborated to make me vomit...which awoke the young ones and prompted them to call their parents. So, they left the theater before the movie ended (I caused them to miss the last ten minutes!), and came home to a house of awake children (it was far passed their bedtime- oops). Still feeling lousy and dizzy, they offered to drive me home which involved loading the sleepy children in the van which Scott drove, and Gayle driving my truck very full of random objects (from the newly cleaned garage) and very empty of gasoline. My truck chugged along and jerked... my stomach did the same... but I made it home safely. It was quite an ordeal and very embarrassing. I felt like a huge failure as a babysitter. But, this wonderful family gave me a chance to redeem myself this week with another babysitting job. This time was much better!

Working hard in the holidays!

2007-12-30T18:49:00.000-06:00

What can you do in 24 hours? My most productive day during the holidays consisted of learning how to juggle, building 54 settlements, 18 cities, 108 roads, building a roller coaster, and reading a book! Playing all day is rough, but as my dad would say, "Somebody's got to do it!".

What was Jane Austen thinking?!

2007-12-19T11:35:00.000-06:00

Please note: If you have not read Sense and Sensibility, but plan to do so sometime in your life, then you may wish to neglect this blog post.

A pleasant, stress-free day was planned with only one item on my to-do list: to finish Sense and Sensibility. Little did I know that the last few chapters would bring such deep disappointment and frustration into my life! The novel was finished with a scowl deeply ingrained on my face. Elinor was supposed to marry Colonel Brandon! How could Jane Austen create such an irrational and undesired ending as Elinor marrying Edward and Marianne marrying Colonel Brandon? I mean... really! What was she thinking? It's a good thing, I suppose, that I have an appointment with a massage therapist this afternoon!

What is this feeling?

2007-12-14T07:31:00.000-06:00

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ud21pqKeSuw
My pulse is rushing. My head is reeling. My face is flushing. What is this feeling? Every Tuesday and Thursday at 12:30pm, my nerves go crazy within my body and cause my limbs to tremble, my head to ache, my pulse to surge, and my body temperature to raise! All of this nervous stress because of my Anatomy and Physiology class at 1:30. Just the thought of this class makes my nerves go crazy! I become physically ill twice a week as a result of this terrifying class! Studying for Anatomy invokes the same feelings as attending class, so please be praying for me today at 12:00 as I take this final. By 2:00, I will be liberated from this loathsome class!!! Hurray!

Porque, why?!

2007-12-10T08:03:00.000-06:00

Last week was the very last week of classes for the semester! So, porque, why...
Why did my phone break the week before all of my friends leave for the holidays?
Why did Microsoft Office get deleted off of my computer when I had four papers and two projects to complete?
Why did my dear brother leave for England when my stress level was already peaked?
Why did I witness a sinful act that burdens my heart?
Porque!?

In the wee, small hours of the morning...

2007-11-29T06:23:00.000-06:00

Well... I just had my first all-nighter in my college years. Hoping to rid a treacherous migraine, I went to bed last night around 9:30pm. At midnight-ish, I awoke and could not return to my delicious slumber. So, I got up, straightened my room a little, worked on some school projects, wrote a paper, etc. hoping to tire myself with my activity in the wee, small hours of the morning. My plan failed. I did not tire. I finally got sleepy around 5:00am, but I didn't think that it would be worth going to sleep for a measly two hours.

This night may not be a technical all-nighter. After all, I did sleep from 9:30 to 12:00. I didn't even need to complete an assignment for the following day (as normal college students do).

My temporalis muscle is no longer pounding my eyeball out of its socket! (I'm not sure if the temporalis is the pounding muscle of a migraine headache; I was simply trying to make my newly acquired knowledge of anatomy applicable.) Thanks, Mom, for getting some medicine for me! Like mother, like daughter- caffeine, I suppose, awakes me in the night as well.

Yea for Thanksgiving Break!

2007-11-26T20:26:00.000-06:00

Holidays are absolutely amazing! Despite (or perhaps, because of) my neglect of my very long "to-do" list, this Thanksgiving break was wonderfully refreshing! The Thanksgiving meal was the best that I've tasted, Settlers of Catan, Risk, and ping-pong were such fun, the coffee with peppermint-mocha creamer was delicious, each night's rest was at least eight hours, the snow was unexpected and beautiful, and my time with the family was wonderful. The break was a burst of energy to help me complete this academically trying semester. Bring it on!

Leaf crunching is my favorite!

2007-11-16T07:00:00.000-06:00

It is officially autumn. I love fall! I love crunching the crispy orange leaves under my feet! I don't know why it gives me such pleasure, but, it really DOES! My walks are windy and inconsistent in attempt to crunch all of the leaves in my path. Acorns are satisfying to crunch, as well! You just have to be careful to crunch them with your heal, otherwise, it may hurt your foot. Crunching leaves brings me so much joy that I even aim for them when driving! (that's a ridiculous confession, because I can't even hear the crunch over the roar of my truck!)

Fo the weally weals!

2007-10-29T05:38:00.000-06:00

When I was younga, I was in speech thewapy fo not saying my aws (r) cowectly. Fo the weally weals, I couldn't say my aws. When I decided to be a speech thewapy major, I was still a little nuvous because theh aw some wuds that I can't say. Last week my teacha assigned pwojects fo the class ova diffewent phonemes (sounds of lettas). The only letta I didn't want was aw... and, of cose, that was the letta I was assigned.

Last night, though, theh was a twemendous bweakthwough. Afta confessing my deepest feah to my sista and fwiend of having a client with the name "Woy" oh "Twoy" (those aw two vewy hawd wuds to pwonounce), Amba wequested that I twy to say Woy and Twoy without concentwating. I twied, and what I pehceived as failuh, Amba and Kelli said was nohmal! I can say Roy and Troy afta all! A humongous bawiah was knocked down!

Graduate Schools

2007-10-28T17:19:00.000-06:00

Whew! Midterms are over, and I feel good about them! :) I survived! (who knew!)

So, besides the regular academic load, my life has been consumed with the search for the best graduate school of Speech-language Pathology. This weekend I traveled to Dallas/Denton with my friend Lael. It was my very first time to drive in Dallas, and I was super nervous! With the help of my superb navigator (Lael), we made it to our destination and back!

The purpose of this trip was to look at the graduate schools, University of Texas at Dallas and the University of North Texas. UTD really impressed me! :) UNT really did not! I'm refining my list of schools- yeah! I'm also considering Western Kentucky University, University of Tennessee, Texas Women's University, and ACU.

Midterms

2007-10-22T14:19:00.000-05:00

This first semester of my senior year was great. Then midterms hit me like a concrete block! No mercy! I turned in a paper, taught a class, and finished a test today. I have a paper and small project due tomorrow. And I have a small project and two tests on Thursday. Ugh! At this time in my life I am seriously wondering if I actually will survive. I'm not convinced that I'll be alive for Fall Break (which is this weekend!!). I may be stressed to tears, but two things hold true:
1. God is good.
2. The sun will keep on rising and setting if I pass geometry or not.

The Fence

2007-10-12T14:38:00.000-05:00

On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I attend a Tennis class. I walk out to the courts and watch all of the "cool kids" step over a three-foot tall fence. All of the other two athletes (of which I am one) walk an extra forty-five seconds to go through a gate. I have never built up the courage to even attempt stepping over this fence. Three days a week I am faced with the dilemma: "Will I step over the fence today?", and every day I have said no... until today! Today was the day that I would set all of my fears aside and make this bold move! My leg was raised, reached the top of the fence successfully, and slowly traveled to the ground on the other side... (for your information, I have very short legs). Now the other leg. Well, it got caught. I fell immediately on the concrete, scraped my knee and elbow, and landed flat on my back. Instantly the group of guys behind me showed concern for my well-being, and then stepped over the fence. They, too, fell on the concrete and kindly stated, "See, it's so easy to fall! Everybody falls! And now all of the attention isn't on you!"

Threatened Life

2007-09-28T05:53:00.000-05:00

Every day my life is threatened! Some days, more than once! I'm innocently walking to my classes and a burst of air brushes my right side, and then my left. Then, a flash of color zooms past me and cuts me off. If I sway only one inch in any direction, I would not be here to tell you this tale. The sidewalks are not safe! The bicycles have taken over!
My advice to the world:
1. Wear a helmet while riding a bike.
2. Wear a helmet while walking to class.
3. Walk on the grass- not on the sidewalk.
4. Walk and twirl, so you can look in all directions.
5. Walk in a group with your backs together, so you can be looking in all directions.
6. Ride bikes- be the "one who threatens" instead of being the "threatened one". (This suggestion is a good option, also, because it is better for the environment and your physical well-being.)

God has kept me safe. I have survived three years on ACU campus with uncontrollable bikes. And, I barely avoided a terrible automobile accident last night. Somebody pulled-out in front of me, and, without thought or conception of what was happening, I found myself with my foot on the brake and my hand on the horn. It is not easy to stop a large Chevy Silverado, but with no explanation other than God extending grace once again to His red-headed daughter, no contact was made with this small car that was inches in front of me and my big truck.

Sweet Surprises!

2007-09-27T17:07:00.000-05:00

I love sweet surprises! Today, after having pleasant conversation with a friend, I walked up to the Starbucks counter in the library to say "hi" to one of the workers. While conversing, I observed him with a watering mouth as he combined the tasty ingredients into one delicious substance. He then asked me if I wanted anything, and I confessed that I neglected to bring my money. Regardless of that fact, he took my order. A few minutes later, I enjoyed a scrumptious honey-nut steamer with a bright smiling face and a boosted spirit!

The other day, I was stranded at a convenient store. After filling up my tank of gas, the machine rejected my debit card and demanded cash. Well... I didn't have cash, I had a debit card! Because of my slightly emotional tendencies and my stressful day, I started tearing up and counting pennies. I had $13, some coins, and some Guatemalan currency. The man behind me noticed my dilemma and my distraught state, and he kindly asked how much I needed. Without hesitating a second, he gave me more than was necessary. After several "thank you so much-es", his only request was that I do the same for someone else sometime.

My sister has given me a cute sewing box, my friend has treated me to the Olive Garden, another friend brought me a massive package of M&Ms, another sister wrote me a sweet note, and my uncle helped me fill up my tire with air! There are so many small things that light up my life.

New Interest

2007-09-17T07:17:00.000-05:00

Almost a year ago, I witnessed a dazzling performance of Sleeping Beauty as a ballet at the Paramount Theater. Since then, I have had a fervent desire to become a ballerina. I don't care about becoming very good, I just want to try it! I would like to be able to flutter around my room gracefully.

My first attempts have definitely been influenced by my Kajukembo "skills". My arabesque ended up being a lethal back kick! So, I decided that I may need help. I went to the library to check out the video "Ballet 101". Because I am alone in the lobby of Smadams for the first hour of my 5:00-9:00 am shift, that time has become the most ideal for me to attempt this new interest of mine.

I am thoroughly enjoying ballet, and maybe, if my legs ever straddle more than a 90 degree angle, I will consider joining a class!(This is me doing an arabesque!)

The Church

2007-08-29T20:52:00.001-05:00

This year is going to be great! It has started off excellently, and I want to keep it that way. Last year was completely exhausting. As a Resident Assistant, my schedule was constant, my body was deprived of sleep and nourishment, and my emotions were exploding out of me uncontrollably. It was difficult for me to have a social life outside of Smadams (my Resident Hall), and that prevented me from spending time with my dear friends.

Already, in this first week of school, God has blessed me with the time and energy to catch up with my very dear friends that I missed excruciatingly last year. My heart is happy, and my face is smiling!

I love friends!
God knows that we need friends.
He knows that we need people.
He created the Church because we NEED the Church.
And my friends are definitely my Church.

Thank You, God, for providing for my needs.

Welcome Week

2007-08-27T05:18:00.000-05:00

This week I have been crazy busy with Welcome Week. ACU is unique regarding Freshmen. While most universities abuse the freshmen, the upper class men at ACU serve and love the new students. All week I have led these excited little critters all over campus and all over Abilene. We have had great discussions, we've played mafia, we've praised, we've scavenger hunted, we've run around with dead minnows. Their exhilaration is contagious, and I am so excited for this upcoming year! It will be a good one! And it is my last one as an undergraduate- wow!

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggidy Jig

2007-08-16T11:51:00.000-05:00

After just a few hours of sleep, a missed flight, a comfort-cup of icecream, and a long day in airports, Jana and I made it home! It is so nice to be picked up on time by people you love so dearly! I'm glad to be back home, but I will definitely miss Guatemala.

Things that I will miss about Guatemala:

1. Leche Chai from Cafe Portal, served by our friend Carlos.

2. My babies at the hospital. Oh, I love them so much!

3. Magaly, my patient teacher whom I love.

4. A great exchange rate (7.7 Quetzales for every dollar)

5. Mountains and volcanoes all around

6. Reading in Central Park

Things that I love about home:

1. Bathrooms- soft toilet paper, automatic bathrooms, being able to throw tp in the toilet

2. Fitting into the crowd (and not being the only red head in a country of dark skin, dark hair people)

3. English- I can understand what people are saying!

4. Guys opening doors for you, and not just staring or saying crude things

5. My Chi hair straightener

6. The Texas skies

A Beautiful Gift from God

2007-08-15T11:13:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday night, right after dinner, our family beckoned us all to the roof of the house to see Volcan Fuego erupt! It was amazing! Never, not even once, did I ever believe that I would get to see such a sight as lava exploding from a volcano! There is no way to express the awe I felt. How can someone put into words such a thrilling performance?
“We were created to love beauty. We love beauty because God loves beauty.” (Ted Dekker, author of Black) God’s beauty is endless. The beauty of the volcano was like nothing I’ve ever seen or experienced before. It was such a gift! It was “something that brought pleasure, like all of God’s gifts.” (Ted Dekker) I’m so blessed! I’m blessed, not just to have seen the eruption, but to be a daughter of such a beautiful, loving, and giving God.

Thank you, Jordan, for these great pictures!

The Kingdom of Heaven Belongs to Such as These

2007-08-04T15:58:00.000-05:00

We’ve been volunteering to work with the patients at a Catholic Hospital. This hospital is run solely on donations (mostly from the US and Europe); and it is different than a typical hospital- it is not a place for the ill to get better, it is a home for those with special needs.

Our time there is trying on the body and spirit. Our first day we were asked to go play with the children… but they’re all in wheel chairs. They don’t speak, they don’t understand, they’re fragile. We spoke monologues, we sang, we touched, we fed, we shooed flies from their faces, we wheeled them around.

These children may not know what we are saying, and they may not remember who we are (if they even acknowledged our presence in the first place), but maybe we can make their life more enjoyable by loving on them. Maybe we can give them a reason to smile.

It breaks my heart to see a five-year-old the size of a 10 month old baby (his name is Melvin). It kills me to see a baby cry non-stop for no known reason (Gaspar). It hurts me to see an 8-year-old with a head bigger than his body (Jo-Jo). I hate the truth that these precious children will live their entire lives in this hospital.

But, as much as it hurts to play with these kids, it is worth it! I am so blessed to be with such innocence. I am so grateful to have such extraordinary children to love. Thank You, God, for giving life to these children. Thank You for providing wonderful nurses to care for them so lovingly. And thank You for promising these precious ones a wonderful life in Heaven with You.

El Lago Atitlan

2007-08-04T15:51:00.000-05:00

Last weekend we traveled to El Lago Atitlan. This is a lake that is known for its beauty, and goodness, I can see why. We rode for nearly three hours on the windiest, bumpiest road imaginable, and boy did we feel sick! It was terribly nauseating! But, we made it to the lake, and it was gorgeous!

Right next to the lake is the city Panajel, which was filled with more tourists than Antigua (surprising, I know). All along the side of the road were marketplace booths. We were bombarded with Guatemalans trying to sell us their treasures.

Life is a Game!

2007-07-29T15:32:00.000-05:00

It seems to me that Guatemalan drivers play several games.

1. How many people can we fit on a trashy bus!? If the bus is made for 40 passengers it will hold 60!
2. How close can we get to the edge of the cliff!? Dad, you know this game well!
3. How many passengers can we make sick!? There is a gas peddle and an accelerator- pick one! And don't push them both every five seconds! They are sure to pick the rode which is the windiest, roughest, and has the most speed bumps.
4. How close can we get to the pedestrians!? The red-head is worth 50 points!

To enjoy our time in Guatemala, we also play games.

1. Guess how many minutes late the bus will come. Last week the bus was 73 minutes late. This week it was 36 minutes late.
2. Guess the number of stares we will receive as we walk to school. Without any attempts to attract attention, we had over twenty stares in about 10 minutes. This one is fun, because it allows us to find amusement in the Shukos instead of complete disgust and disdain.
3. Skip-bo. At school, in a coffee shop, or in a restaurant- we will be playing this exciting card game!